After my thoughts on family life this morning, I came across a few quotes from someone who could possibly be the extreme opposite of model parenting, Ozzy Osbourne. The Osbourne’s son Jack recently checked himself into a drug rehab center, which has caused Ozzy to reconsider a few things.

“I used to think they should legalize pot, but you know what? They should ban the lot,” he told MTV. “I’m 55 years old, and I didn’t get off scot-free. I have to take medication for the rest of my life because I’ve done so much neurological damage to my body.” Of course we knew that, but it’s good to hear Ozzy admit it.

“The mistake that Sharon and I both made, and we both agree on this, is we never set any boundaries,” Osbourne told MTV in another interview. “We never said, ‘You must be in the house by a certain time.’ We just let them have the freedom. Sharon and I are still learning. We’re not the parents that say, ‘We’re always right,’ because we’re not.”

“One thing I noticed is that he never cried,” Osbourne said. “He never showed. He just locked it in, you know. I think what families should do more often is have family meetings and talk: get around the table and say, ‘What’s up? How you doing?’ Every day I say to my family, ‘I love you,’ you know. And I do love my family. People forget to say ‘I love you. I care for you. Are you OK? Is there anything you need?'”

Family can be an amazing thing. A bunch of people who stick it out together, whether they like it or not, for the simple reason that they’re family. Well, that’s the basic idea anyway. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Seems like more often lately it doesn’t work. I wonder how much of that is simply our selfish, individualistic attitude at work. Half of all marriages fail because we don’t really understand the commitment required. We’re more concerned about our own happiness than our spouses, which is really the goal of a marriage. Relationships rip and pull as selfishness rears its head, and the family comes tumbling down. Children learn by example, and when they seek their own gain, you shouldn’t have to look too far for the cause.

Family is just hard work. Which is another thing we’re bad at. Not only do we look after ourselves, but we don’t want to do a lot of work. We want the easy way out. The easy way is my way. The easy way doesn’t include putting up with the irritating little foibles we all have. The easy way doesn’t want to have the hard conversations that come before a shouting match. The easy way would rather hold a grudge than talk it over and let it go.

I’ve seen families fall apart, I’ve seen families stubbornly stick together — no matter how painful it may be — and I’ve even seen families come back together. With all the possibilities and with failure so prevalent, it makes me wonder about the future of my own family. There’s so many stupid things that can get in the way: tiredness, bitterness, laziness. A simple clashing of schedules or interests can make things impossible. Washing the dishes or doing the laundry can so easily sow discord, and while a kind word can do so much, the slipped word can do so much worse.

I’m not looking to be a TV family where the kids do cute things and the grandparents stop by for special holiday guest appearances. I want a family where we love each other enough to do things for one another. A family that isn’t selfish. A family that isn’t bound by intergenerational barriers and can actually communicate. Maybe that’s not possible. Maybe it requires more sacrifice than I give. Maybe that’s exactly what I find so difficult.

And sometimes I wonder why I’m even thinking about my future family. It’s a strange, not-quite-real concept, like recordable DVDs or hybrid vehicles. I know they can exist, but I haven’t seen them for myself, and it doesn’t seem quite true.

“Mercy,” my mother comments while walking into an antique store ahead of me.

“Oh, mercy,” my grandmother repeats from behind me. That’s what I’d say after two days of antique shopping. Oh mercy.

It’s been a long time since I’ve gone antiquing with my mom, though I certainly have a lot more patience than I used to. Some of that old junk actually fascinates me. Some of the prices also fascinate me. Who would pay $200 for a coat rack?