Tag Archives: Adoption

Adoption

When Regular Life Falls Away

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Two weeks from today we’ll be heading to the airport. We’ll spend a few hours on the ground in Washington, D.C. (never been there before), and then fly across the Atlantic (never done that before). We’ll spend maybe 45 minutes on the ground in Rome (my first contact with Europe) and then fly off to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia (yeah, never been there either).

If you noticed the trend, you could probably guess my international travel experience begins and ends with Canada. So this is going to be new and different. Plus that whole thing where I get to meet my son. It’s hard to put into words exactly what we’re feeling right now.

We’re excited. We’re stressed. We’re giddy. We’re tired. We’re overjoyed. We’re busy.

We’ve got a lot to do. Our to do list keeps getting longer, but we’re hacking away at it. It’s amazing how the things of everyday life begin to fall away as you realize what’s really important. Some of my side projects are being neglected right now. Other distractions I just don’t have the time for. I do still manage to find time for certain stress-reducing diversions (preserving sanity is a priority). There’s somehow time for tickling, laughing or just sitting with Lexi. What needs to happen does, and the rest falls away.

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Adoption

Say Hello to Milo

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Milo Looking at this New FamilyOur adoption case cleared court today and Milo is officially our son.

Woot, woot!

We’re obviously ecstatic. You can check out all the pictures of Milo over at Flickr. Many thanks to everyone who prayed that we’d make it through court OK.

From here they’re telling us it will be roughly 6-8 weeks until we can travel to Ethiopia and bring Milo home. Before today it was 5-6 weeks after we cleared court. I don’t know what changed that time frame, but I’m trying not to be bitter about it (It’s hard to be bitter on a day like today when we get the news, but I’m also tired of time frames always getting longer. I want to bring my boy home.)

I don’t know what else to say. We’ve been in this process since August 2007 (nearly 19 months now) and sometimes it feels like a labor that won’t end. But we’re getting close. So painfully close.

I wish adoption were easier. But I keep telling myself it has to be this hard and slow and expensive to make absolutely sure everything is in Milo’s best interest. And that’s worth it.

Update: OK, I’m still trying to tell myself that. But waiting sucks. This story of a kid crying for her adopted siblings made me bawl. It’s part joy, part longing, part aching—and part anger for the circumstances that make adoption necessary and the red tape so profuse. My head understands all that, but my heart doesn’t care.

Another Update: OK, the shifting travel times were apparently just a mistake. Forget 6-8 weeks, we should be able to travel in 4-6, which means late March or early April.

Adoption

Adoption Case Goes to Court

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Tomorrow our adoption case heads to court in Ethiopia. A judge will review the case, make sure everything is above board and, hopefully, grant us official guardianship of our baby boy. Once that happens things start moving quickly and we’ll likely head to Ethiopia 5-6 weeks later.

Assuming we make it through court. Just about anything can hold things up, from a serious problem to a technicality. Even something as mundane as a power outage can end our day in court. And if we don’t make it, our court case will be rescheduled, possibly as much as 7 weeks later. Yeah, ouch (last month that happened to a whole group of families).

So we’re hoping and praying that we make it through court. This has been a long process and we want to bring our baby home. I hope you’ll pray for us as well (I posted some specifics to pray for in our Facebook group).

To tide us over a bit, we did receive a social report on our baby yesterday, full of details of his development and pictures. Our kid is amazing. And cuter than yours.

Oh, that’s the other fun detail. If we make it through court and receive official guardianship, then we can share pictures online. Score.

Adoption

You Can Change the World: “I Have a Family”

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Back in November I blogged about the Palmer family. They just moved to Uganda—all six of them—to finalize the adoption of their son, 4-year-old Francis. When they arrived at the airport Francis was there to meet them as a surprise:

“As we came out of customs, we all rushed him, gave him a big hug, and all he did was laugh, and laugh, and laugh”

But the best part has to be what Francis said on the phone with his aunt: “Auntie! I have a family and they saved me!”

That’s awesome. I have to fight back tears every time I read that. In the face of the world’s brokeness and pain, adoption offers such a glimmer of hope and grace. Kids who are alone and abandoned need families of their own. There may not be a blood connection, but we’re all humans. That should be connection enough.

We have a court date one week from today in our own adoption process.

Music, Society

You Can Change the World: Saving Kids from Poverty

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Shaun Groves spray-painting a rock at Northwestern: 163 kids sponsored!Last week indie rock star (wait, is that an oxymoron?) Shaun Groves came to town.

I’ve tried to keep up with Shaun since his debut album came out back when I was just getting started at the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. We interviewed him at GMA and he played at the our offices and I think we talked him into writing for us. I was always struck by how genuine he seemed. A few years ago he launched a blog, but it wasn’t a typical rock star blog. For starters he called it a “Shlog” (which is where that ‘shlog envy’ comment came from), but more importantly he blogged about the real stuff of life and not just ‘hey look, I’ve got an album coming out’ or ‘we’re rocking in Georgia!’ and then no posts until the next album. Plus, he tried to kick Amy Grant’s ass (OK, not really).

Lately Shaun’s been doing this whole Compassion blogger thing and actually comments on people’s blogs. He still does some music in there somewhere, but he gives it all away for free.

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Adoption

Adoption Court Date: Feb. 20, 2009

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It’s about time for an adoption update around here. Not much has happened since we got our court date and referral. We do receive monthly updates, but they only consist of height and weight measurements. It’s kind of hard looking at the photo of my boy and the sheet of paper telling me how much he weighs. All I know is he’s growing, and that’s a good thing (duh).

Our court date is coming up on February 20. This happens in Ethiopia and we don’t have to be present. We’ve signed over power of attorney and someone else will be present for us as a judge reviews the case and, if everything goes smoothly, transfers guardianship of our boy to us. This paves the way for a birth certificate that lists us as parents. Once we get a correct copy of that birth certificate things start moving. We can start filing more paperwork to get a visa, we’re given a travel date and we’re given permission to book our tickets. It’s a flurry of activity. We’ve been told that travel dates generally come 5-6 weeks after a successful court date, which means late March or early April.

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Adoption, Society

Choose Adoption

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I don’t like talking about abortion. Today’s the 36th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision, and it’s hard to avoid those discussions today. I don’t like those discussions because it’s such divisive issue and I see both sides of it. I can’t stand the bitterness and anger and hatred that inevitably floods the conversation.

I’d rather focus on something we can all agree is good, like lowering the number of abortions. One way to make that happen is to encourage and support pregnant women as they choose adoption.

With that in mind I love this comment from Ruth Graham, daughter of Billy Graham, who helped her daughter navigate two unplanned pregnancies:

“No life is a mistake. God has plans for each life. And there are no illegitimate children—there are only illegitimate acts. And I believe that birth mothers are very courageous. They are living in a society that tells them they don’t have to carry to life. It’s legal in this country to have abortion, but they choose life. They lay down their lives; literally, their reputations, their figures, their school careers, sometimes their families kick them out. And the Lord said that there’s no greater love but that a man lay down his life for his friends, and these young women lay down their lives for their children. And I applaud them.”

The brave women who place their children for adoption instead of choosing abortion need to be celebrated.

Adoption, U2

Adoption & U2=Awesome

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So the economy is in the toilet and work has been incredibly slow. No matter: The spring of 2009 has decided to be awesome.

Adoption
Most importantly, our adoption will finally happen. We got the referral a few weeks ago (it’s a boy!) and we found out yesterday that the court date will be Feb. 20, 2009. It’s a tentative court date and it could change, but the court date is what determines everything else. This is the legal process in Ethiopia where guardianship is transferred to us. If everything goes through OK they send us a birth certificate. If the birth certificate comes through OK then we’re able to get a visa and all that jazz and they can give us a travel date. Then we can book plane tickets and be on our way. They tell us travel usually happens 5-6 weeks after a court date, and in general we get 2-3 weeks notice before traveling.

Five to six weeks after Feb. 20 is March 27 to April 3. Not that I’m counting.

New U2
The spring of 2009 is also shaping up to be awesome because U2 will be releasing their first album in nearly four and a half years. OK, it’s not nearly as awesome as our adoption, but I’m still excited. The album, No Line on the Horizon, is due March 3. This means I can spend those final remaining weeks before we travel rocking out and I’ll have a ready-made soundtrack for those first months with our new kiddo.

Go 2009!

Adoption, Society

You Can Change the World: Moving to Uganda to Adopt

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Francis holding a picture of his family.In 2005 the Palmer family of Tulsa, Okla. started the process to adopt Francis, an orphaned child in Uganda. In January the Palmers—all six of them—will be moving to Jinja, Uganda to unite their family under one roof and finalize their adoption of Francis.

It’s a crazy story, and it keeps getting crazier. In a nutshell, the Palmers were granted guardianship of Francis but fine print stipulated that they had to come back to Uganda in three years to finalize the adoption, essentially fostering him for three years. Since the U.S. won’t grant a visa under those circumstances, Francis is stuck in Uganda. So his family is coming to him.

How amazing. Stories like this bring tears to my eyes. Adam Palmer, the dad of the family, is a friend of mine (I interviewed him back in 2005 about his book Taming a Liger: Unexpected Spiritual Lessons from Napoleon Dynamite) and I’m so excited to watch their story continue. You can read a newspaper article about their story and follow the journey on their blog.