In some sense, today is going to be a continuation, or maybe an explanation of yesterday’s ponderings. As I knew would happen, one of you called me on what I was saying, and I had to admit that I wasn’t quite sure what I was saying. That’s the joy of pondering, you figure it out as you go along. And sometimes you need a little outside assistance, which is where all of you come in.
Yesterday I was wondering about friends coming in and out of our lives. Being in college, it seems to be happening a lot. I think I came across as questioning the value of friendships that fade away. I’m not trying to do that. I’m convinced of the value of those friendships. I think I was questioning the activities those friendships centered around. Twice now, I’ve had friendships that were epitomized in certain activities. When the activities ended, the friendship wasn’t over. It may have changed, but it wasn’t over. I’m not questioning those friendships. They’d be pretty shallow friendships if they ended that way. I’m wondering about the activity itself and the hope I put in that activity.
Continue reading Coming In and Out of Our Lives
Sometimes I just have to stop and wonder if what I’m doing is right. Here I am in life, making choices to do certain things. I decide to be a part of a yo-yo ministry here, over here I decide to be a radio personality. Sometimes I just wonder if I’m concentrating on what I need to be concentrating on. Is this worth while? It really makes me wonder sometimes as I see things disappear before my eyes. I ended up leaving the yo-yo ministry. Was that time well spent? My co-host who’s made radio a lot of fun may be leaving next year. Was that time well spent? I just have these doubts sometimes. I suppose I’m learning valuable skills and just enjoying life, but I just have to wonder sometimes. I get so excited about things when I’m in the midst of them. Then six months later it’s all over. Do I just keep building myself up to let myself down? Or am I focusing in the wrong area? Life is really confusing sometimes. I really value the experiences I’ve had in my life, but is it okay to question them? Could there be more out there that would be, in a sense, better to experience? Or do I need these ‘sidetracks’ to make me who I am? I just can’t help wondering sometimes, and just asking questions.
Who I am as a person so often seems to be shaped by who I’m with. And when that person leaves, it’s as if I lose shape. That part of me falls apart. It no longer works like it once did. The chemistry just isn’t there anymore. Am I always going to be shaped this way? Perhaps I need to be shaped by myself and be guided by my own dreams.
I’m just a little confused sometimes, and all I can do is sit and wonder.
In my Christian Theology class, we’ve been studying a lot of worldviews and that kind of thing. It’s always seemed strange to me that someone would suggest there is no divine creator behind this world. If you look around, things seem so well ordered that it couldn’t have just happened by chance. If you look at humans, it seems so much more obvious. We humans are pretty unique. For example:
- Only humans are designed to walk on two legs, and have both hands and feet.
- Only humans have faces which vary so greatly in appearance that we can identify one another by looking at our faces.
- Only humans can blush, showing embarrassment.
- Only humans make love face to face. (I find that rather significant)
- Only humans have a brain with a speech center. (A Faith For All Seasons by Ted M. Dorman, page125)
I don’t understand how anyone could say all that happened without some kind of divine creator. It makes even more sense to say that divine creator has to have some sort of personal interest in its creation. Everything just seems designed this way.
I’ll admit that at times this concept of God seems very distant to me, but at the same time, it makes so much sense. I can’t accept that the complexity of human life is the result of a crap shoot or an impersonal, unloving god.
Tonight I watched most of the State of the Union Address. Call me a pessimist, but I don’t see much hope in politics. Somehow I see fault in a system where a president stands up and talks about the State of the Union, and everything is positive and happy-go-lucky. Never mind the fact that the president is currently undergoing an impeachment trial, the first such trial in over 100 years. I’m sorry, but when Bill talks about restoring Family Values, I just can’t seem to trust him. You’ve lost all my respect Bill, you should just give up now. And the rest of politics isn’t much better. The Republican Reaction? What was that all about? No, we don’t have an excessively partisan political system. And what’s up with the applause during tonight’s address? They write his speech with pauses and voice inflections for applause. This isn’t Letterman, it’s the State of the Union speech. And what’s with all the special guests? Let’s just write a speech, and comment on some good stuff, and we’ll just happen to have the people connected to the good stuff here. We’ll show them off like some kind of trophy prize. Politics really makes me sick.
That’s odd, the unseasonably warm weather we’re having in Minnesota is not only melting the snow, it appears to have melted the Vikings as well. What a shock! It’s really funny, because it seems like everyone in the state (including yours truly) totally expected the Vikings to go all the way. Newspapers and TV have been filled with “Road to Miami” specials. Guess not. Did anybody see the Vikings owner on Fox after the loss? They talked to him after he came out of the locker room. As one of my friends put it, he looked like his mother just died. I’ve never seen such a depressed face. It seems strangely profound that we put so much trust and hope in a football team, only to see our hopes dashed. While watching the game, someone pointed out that they were glad their salvation didn’t rest in a football team winning. With one loss the 16-1 Vikings are finished. The finality of playoff football is unbelievable. It’s so uncertain. I’m glad my eternity is grounded on something a lot more firm.
You know, sometimes I see people and I just want to walk up to them and ask them if they’re in Jr. High.
Why is Saturday Night Live still on? Don’t they know a dead fish when they smell one?
I think it’s time for bed. You should get some sleep too.
The tear of an angel drips to the ground. It wells up in the corner of her eye, trembles for a moment, and then splurges down her face. It slides off her chin and falls to the cold, hard ground. She closes her eyes, but the pain just won’t go away. The harsh judgement of those leery eyes has fallen on her one too many times. The pang of hunger gnawed at her throat, a constant reminder that she didn’t quite reach the ideal. If only she would realize that someone did love her. Someone notices the sparkle in her eye, and someone actually sees angelic beauty underneath the tear stained cheeks. Someone sees the bottled up joy inside of her and wants to loosen the cork. Someone frowns when she picks at her salad, fighting off hunger to save a few pounds. Someone sees the beauty, no matter her weight, no matter what. If only she knew this someone, and could feel the freeing love. Doesn’t she know that she’s more than a body? Don’t you know that she’s not simply flesh? Then won’t you be the someone to water this precious flower and watch her bloom before your eyes?
Hey look! This page is finally graphically enhanced. Pretty neato, huh? Now I just have to bring the rest of the Unnamed Web Page up to code.
Heard some depressing news today, at least for a lot of you Bethel people. Chris Frank, co-singer and guitarist for the band Ethan’s Well has left the band. I just received an e-mail about it, and personally, I’m kind of bummed. They had a really good sound and I’ve always thought they were going to go somewhere with it. The pressures of school, a new marriage, work, and the band were just too much for him. The three remaining members of the band are going to try and continue on, which is a pretty daunting task, considering they just lost half their songs and they’re down to one singer/guitarist. So you may want to keep Chris Frank and the remainder of Ethan’s Well (Matt, Mark, & Nate) in your prayers. Part of the difficulty of continuing on is the several shows they have booked in the coming months. In fact, they’re playing at the New Union this Saturday night, and have a February 6th show at Coffee Shock. So get out there and support this ministry if you can. These guys are talented musicians and deserve the recognition, especially right now when things can’t be easy for ’em. And just to encourage you, I think Mission Control (the famed radio show with which I am a co-host) is going to give away free tickets to the New Union show.
Seeing as I just gave myself some work to do, I better get on that. So that’s the end of my ponderings for today. If your brain is still thirsty, check out my inspiration. It’s my friend Ben Tramm’s page, the place I stole the idea of a daily thoughts page from.
Whew. I’m exhausted right now. Probably not the best time to sit down and pen my pondering thoughts, but oh well, that’s what you’re stuck with. I just returned from another thrilling Broomball game. Unfortunately, my team lost their third straight game with a score 1-0. We played really good though, we just couldn’t get it in the net. But I had fun, and that’s all I care about.