The blogger phenomenon is exploding as people begin to tweak the concept with their own creative ideas. The second Gulf War was an immense help, proving that underground journalism can be faster, more efficient, and better than the real thing. Forget imbedded journalists, how about the actual people living through the hell of war. Blogs have been able to tell stories of the war like traditional journalism can’t. They give more than a 30 second news byte, and let you get as much or as little as you want. Power to the people.

And now blogs are going to a new level, playing with the bounds of reality. The beauty of the Internet is that no one knows if you’re telling the truth. Pedophiles and abusers have been using that fact for years. Hollywood has even cashed in, using the anonymity of the web to promote movies to an increasingly over-advertised audience. Flight Risk is a new weblog, supposedly written by a girl on the run from her wealthy family, trying to avoid an arranged marriage. Debate rages as to whether or not this blog is for real. If it’s a fake, it’s been painstakingly researched. Acquisitions Editors are hoping to get in touch with the writer, whether or not it’s true. Other suspect the book deal has already been made, and this is pre-release hype, drawing people into a compelling story online and then getting them to buy the book.

Fake or not, it makes for good entertainment. And a brilliant use of the web. If only I could turn these thoughts into a brilliant tale of mystery and intrigue and sell some sucker on the book deal.

So I’ve revamped the ol’ thoughts. Given everything a bit of a face-lift. Every few years you need to do that. I was beginning to feel blog-envy at everyone else’s cooler-looking-than-mine blogs. So I’ve added some sidebar link action (so you can consume all the same entertainment I do!) and added some funky graphics across the top there. Hopefully I’ll be changing those out every now and then so they don’t get old. I also hope to go through the archives and add some old pictures there for a little variety. But don’t expect that any time soon.

Speaking of this thing, I find the nomenclature of this interesting (any time you even think you can use the word nomenclature, you have to go for it). It’s officially called “ReAL Thoughts.” But that’s just the name I gave it when I made it a part of ReALMagazine.com so it would fit in. Before that it was “Daily Ponderings.” As you can tell, I’ve never really had a good name for it. And now it seems pointless to come up with a better name, since everyone on the planet has a blog with their own clever little name. Anything I come up with would sound like tapioca pudding. Feelings of inadequacy.

I so often feel like an inadequate blogger. I’m not really a blogger. I started long before the blogger trend started, so I’m more my own thing. It’s just an easy label to give to what I do. But blogging can have a pretty loose definition, so I can weasel my way in there. I feel inadequate because I don’t have all the cool features other blogs do. I’m contemplated adding them for a while, and I’m struggling to figure out the best way to do it. Part of me likes the DIY feel of this blog. I code it myself (using Dreamweaver), rather than relying on some ready-made publishing program like Blogger. I actually tried that for a while, but I didn’t like the lack of freedom. But I do wish I had some of the niceties. I wish people reading this could post comments. It could create some nice dialogue, though it could also end up just being my mother asking what the heck I’m rambling about. Part of me feels like if I just had the right software or the right plug-in, or the right computer knowledge I’d be able to make this thing that much cooler and I’d update it more often and people wouldn’t have to stop by for a visit and wonder why the heck I haven’t written anything in over a week. Feelings of inadequacy. Maybe that means I’m pushing myself forward. Maybe it means I want something that just isn’t going to happen.

I don’t know if you noticed or not, but a week or so ago I added a “support” page to these humble thoughts. The idea came from a few places, including my yearning to get a little something out of this site I’ve put so much time into over the years, my staggering debt, and a handful of cyber-beggars, some of whom are raking in money to cover debts a fraction the size of mine.

I’m not looking for a handout. Well, I am, but I intend to provide something in return, thus transforming your alms into payment received. It’s certainly not a formal contract (such obligation can squash creative freedom), but I’ll do my best. Here’s the deal: I’m going to keep drafting these thoughts as long as I deem them valuable (and considering I’ve kept at it for four years, there must be gold in them thoughts), meanwhile the tip jar has been placed on the counter. If you feel so led, donate. If not, don’t. There’s no obligation on either side of the Internet.

My goal is simply to pay down some of my debt. Attending a private college, marrying a fellow loan-happy student, and diving into bottom-of-the-salary pile careers leaves the finances a bit tight. Now I don’t mean this as a sob story. There’s food on the table and presents under the Christmas tree. But an upsettingly large portion of our monthly budget goes to places like Wells Fargo and Citibank, places that really don’t need my money. I’d rather be putting that money into a fund designed to buy a roof for my family.

So that’s the story. I’m not begging and there are no subscriber fees. But tips are appreciated.