What’s going to be the best “Christian” movie in 2004? It terms of fat cash it’s going to be The Passion, no questions asked. And while World Wide Pictures might turn out something to talk about, the fact that their last movie out still isn’t out says something indeed (perhaps it’s saying, “I have a marketing degree!”).

No, I think the best Christian movie in 2004 is going to be Saved! (watch the trailer). Mandy Moore, Macaulay Culkin, Patrick Fugit (Almost Famous)… it’s Ten Things I Hate About You at your local Baptist high school. “I just crashed my van into Jesus!”

Of course it could be way too over the top. The Christian band The Elms were slated to appear in the movie but they backed out after reading the script. While it could be incredibly insulting to Christians, sometimes I think we deserve that. The real question is what the movie has to say about God. A movie that can spark some discussion and reflection about God and actually make people laugh is hard to come by. Of course it could be another Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.

We’ll see come April 23. (thanks to bloggedy blog for the link, courtesy of David Hopkins)

While strolling through Target today I noticed Veggie Tales DVDs are now being sold in three packs priced at $30. It’s nice to see that the popular series is finally a little more affordable. Previously a single episode — which is only 30 minutes long — cost between $15 and $20. With the three packs they’re only $10 each, which is still pretty steep compared to 90 minute movies for $15 or something like an entire season of the Simpsons for $35. But what are you going to do? They’re only available on DVD.

While trying to find the three collections online (1, 2, 3), I did stumble across a mammoth collection of nine Veggie Tales episodes for $88 at BarnesandNoble.com.

You can now read my full-blown article on Return of the King, which posted today on passageway.org.

They did a pretty good editing job, though I liked my original title, Return of the Hobbit: Frodo Lives, better.

The grand epic of Lord of the Rings comes to its final chapter, Return of the King, next week (Unless you’re lucky like me and saw a press screening). All the deep questions will finally be answered: Will Frodo be able to free Willy — I mean destroy the ring? Will Legolas the elf or Gimli the dwarf win the battle-scene body-count? Will Aragorn ever stop day-dreaming about Arwen and just kiss the girl?

For those who have read J.R.R. Tolkien’s masterful books, and frankly anyone who knows anything about movie magic, the answers are clear. Han Solo and company knocked out the shield generator so the Rebel Alliance could attack and ultimately destroy the Death Star. Neo would overcome bullets and bytes to defeat Agent Smith and save Zion. Despite sharks, jellyfish, and flesh-eating gulls a father’s desperate search comes to a happy end when he finally finds Nemo.

As Middle Earth hangs in the balance, the question isn’t if our heroes will succeed, it’s how they’ll pull it off.

(let’s go to the extended entry for the spoiler-filled ROTK talk)

Continue reading Frodo Lives! 2 →

Sheesh, I feel like a blog maniac today. Maybe that’s because after shoveling the driveway for a third time in 24 hours this morning, my body took the day off. I’ve been surfing most of the day, a thinly veiled attempt at research for tonight, when I’ll see a press screening of Return of the King for one of my freelance jobs. I guess that means I’ll be working on Saturday, but if it’s writing about Lord of the Rings, that’s OK.

In preparation for tonight, I watched The Fellowship of the Ring on Monday and The Two Towers last night. Both times it was the extended version, which director Peter Jackson admits is “mucking up the momentum.” I didn’t notice so much in The Fellowship, but I definitely felt it in The Two Towers. It’s fun to see the extra stuff, but I think the theatrical version worked better.

It goes without saying that I’m excited about tonight. I’m especially excited because I’m allowed to bring a guest (i.e., my wife), which doesn’t always happen. I was petrified at the thought of having to see this major movie and not being able to talk about it for a full week (how impatient we are).

I’m excited because it seems like there hasn’t been a trilogy since the original Star Wars that came out so strongly. Say what you will about the Matrix, I think the sequels fell short. LOTR is such a powerful story, I’m eager to see it on the big screen.

I know there will be disappointments. There always are. But I feel prepared. [SPOILER WARNING] I’ve resigned myself to the fact that there’s no scouring of the Shire scene in the movie. Those scenes beautifully finished off the book, and frankly Tolkien used them to do what few professional authors would do — he extended the story, and let his readers tarry a little longer in the magical world. That felt so right in the book. Maybe it won’t be necessary in cinematic form.

Maybe I like LOTR so much because of the story. There’s a complete and powerful story behind the movie, one that’s fully realized outside of the movie. No matter what Jackson does to muck things up, that story remains untouched, which means I can enjoy the movies as they are.

No matter what happens, I’ll be dipping into the books again for sure.

I watched Matrix Revolutions. My comment walking out was, “I can’t get no.” As in satisfaction.

The movie just didn’t deliver. It didn’t hold together, it didn’t answer any questions, it didn’t work. It lived up to the hype (or lack thereof).

I’m still trying to pull my thoughts together, so you’ll probably have to listen to more of this over the next few days, but I’m amazed at how such an amazing beginning completely fell apart. When I saw the original Matrix, I was floored. I didn’t expect the sequels to deliver the same jaw-dropping, mind-blowing experience, but I expected something more. What I saw was much, much less.

If Reloaded felt like a video game, Revolutions felt like several different movies, as one of the folks I watched it with commented. It jumped around all over the place, following new characters no one cared about, the dialogue was worthy of George Lucas, and all the loose strings were left flapping in the breeze.

In the end there’s still an intriguing gospel parallel, but it wasn’t worth three movies and a whole wad of cash.

Aside from the plot let-down, the visual effects were overwhelming. The fight scenes that worked in the first two flicks needed the addition of strobe light effects to be cool in the third movie. The result made my eyes hurt. There was simply too much action. I wanted things to tone down a bit so my eyes and brain could catch up. It wasn’t an enjoyable action flick experience.

Maybe I’m getting old, but all the kung-fu, gun-blazing action didn’t do it for me. I wanted Neo to turn the other cheek.

(Nov. 10 Update – You have to check out this Matrix spoof/anti-corporate farming flash movie: The Meatrix. [link via Steve])

That incredible sucking sound you hear is the final installment of the Matrix saga hitting theaters. Matrix Revolutions opens today, and critic after critic after critic after critic say it sucks so bad it blows.

I’m eager to see for myself, but after the disappointment of Reloaded, I’m not that eager to slap down big cash to see a bomb in the theater.

I also watched a few movies this weekend. I should probably be writing about these in another location, but I feel like that section is doomed. I’ve been meaning to start an official movie review section, but I just haven’t had the time. Unemployment is a lot busier than you’d think.

Anyway, I saw Daredevil, Agent Cody Banks and Drumline. A week or two ago I watched Death to Smoochie and Max. I also caught Holes at the cheap theater. Let’s give a quick run down:

Daredevil — A darkly intriguing comic-turned-movie, reminiscent of Tim Burton’s Batman, only more interesting because the super hero is blind. The special effects showing us how Daredevil “sees” were amazing. The story line had more redemption than I expected, thanks to the Daredevil’s trips to the confessional. Plus the soundtrack kicked ass (it launched Evanescence into the spotlight) and the DVD is packed with extras. The weakest part of the movie is everyone’s ability to make Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon style leaps, despite the fact that no one has those superpowers.

Agent Cody Banks — Do I admit I watched this movie? Too late. I like Frankie Muniz (at least in Malcolm in the Middle) and we were up for something light. I can say it didn’t suck. I think a 10-year-old boy would have liked it. It was basically James Bond as a teenager, minus the martinis and accent. Unfortunately they didn’t have the good sense to play it as a James Bond spoof. They could have gone over the top with goofball villains and it would have been great. Instead the villains are just as goofball except we’re supposed to be scared, and Agent Banks has the same suave lines, only slightly milder for the pre-teen crowd (“What’s my next mission?” “I think you were going to kiss me.”).

Drumline — I expected a Disney movie about high school drummers, and this wasn’t anywhere close. A Brooklyn boy gets a drumming scholarship at a Southern school, but has to lose his pride to be a part of the band. The movie felt short on plot for as long as it was, but the rhythms were righteous.

Death to Smoochie — It’s billed as Robin Williams comedy about the seedy underbelly of children’s television, but it’s really an Ed Norton flick. He totally makes the movie as an idealistic, hippie children’s entertainer, the man behind Smoochie the Rhino. It’s darkly disturbing and fun to watch for anyone’s who’s dreamed of hiring a hitman to off Barney.

Max — An arty film about Hitler’s formative years. John Cusack plays a Jewish artist who lost his arm in World War I and survives in post-war Germany as an art dealer supported by his wealthy in-laws. He stumbles across the young Adolf Hitler, and their common war experience unites them. Hitler is torn between propaganda and his art. At times he almost seems human, which is probably the movie’s biggest fault: its fear of being too sympathetic to Hitler. It’s a dark, thinking movie — but what else did you expect for Hitler’s formative years?

Holes — Convicted of a crime he didn’t commit, Stanley Yelnats is sent to Camp Green Lake, a youth detention center that doesn’t live up to its title. Sentenced to dig a hole a day in order to build character, Stanley struggles to get along with the other delinquents and the obsessed warden. It’s a quirky story of redemption and overcoming the unfairness of life, a movie you can watch with your whole family – if you have to. Or you can do one better and read the book.

Speaking of computer animation, it’s been a while since I’ve gone off about how cool Veggie Tales is. We bought the Jonah movie last week, and we’ve been watching all the fun extras on the DVD. We didn’t get around to watching the actual movie until today (of course we did see it in the theater).

But first the extras. By far, the best part is the commentary with Larry and Mr. Lunt. It’s basically just 83 minutes of banter. It has nothing to do with what’s going on in the movie. It’s awesome. There’s also the usual fun stuff like a tour of the Big Idea headquarters, which actually an old Woolworths in a mall. It also includes a preview for an upcoming Veggie Tales video, to be released this summer: The Ballad of Little Joe, a retelling of the story of Joseph starring Larry as Little Joe with his Amazing Technicolor Leather Vest. Quality.

But back to the movie. I remember the story of Jonah being about how we should obey God or else. Or else we’ll get swallowed by a whale. Not very fun. Of course God is kind, so he’ll give us a second chance and have the whale spit us up. So the lesson was we should obey God, because if we don’t something gross will happen to us, and then we’ll have to obey God anyway.

Which isn’t exactly the story of Jonah. The Veggie Tales flick focuses on mercy and compassion. The last chapter of Jonah, which all my Sunday School teachers skipped, is all about how Jonah is a jerk and didn’t want God to have mercy or compassion on Ninevah. The story’s not about how we should obey God or he’ll make a large fish swallow us. That’s not really God’s thing. It’s about freakin’ forgiveness. It’s about giving people a second chance, even when they don’t deserve it. That’s the God I serve.

Sometimes I feel like we really miss God’s boat. It doesn’t seem like God’s so interested in telling us how much we suck. Sure we do, and God lets us know–but that’s not his cup of tea. He’d like to get over that. He’d rather show us grace and mercy than judgment (which isn’t exactly a perfect picture of Christians). Which is where Jesus comes in. God walks around in our skin doling out grace and mercy–not judgment and condemnation. And what really pissed him off? People who thought they were in God’s boat, but really weren’t. We are so Pharisees, and we don’t even know it.

All that from a kid’s movie. Quality.