Yearly Archives: 2010

Adoption, Children, Family

I’m Not a Super Dad

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The last day to pre-order Addition by Adoption is tomorrow. If you don’t order it by tomorrow, you’ll have to wait for the official launch on May 11. The book has received a lot of press in the past week—OK, “press” meaning friends and contacts blogging and tweeting about the book. But they’ve had a lot of nice things to say. It’s enough to make your head swell. So it’s time to pop that bubble: I’m not a super dad.

I’ve found that the biggest challenge of adoption and raising kids in general is just the day to day. There are day-to-day challenges and difficulties that you have to rise up and face every day. Those challenges can wear you down pretty quickly if you’re not careful.

For whatever reason I woke up on the wrong side of the bed Saturday and I had no patience. That wouldn’t be so awful, but Milo woke up on the wrong side of his crib and he’d been screaming all morning. Not a good combination.

Finding ways to deal with those kinds of frustrations is crucial. On Saturday Milo and I had to take a break from each other. My wife and I frequently have times where one of us needs to ‘run away,’ and I that’s what I needed Saturday.

It’s stuff like trying to get work done and your daughter won’t stop asking if Sesame Street is on. At first it’s cute, then it’s annoying and then it’s like poking a tiger with a stick at the zoo. The other day Lexi did that so often I told her if she asked me one more time she couldn’t watch it. So she asked if it was time for Milo to take a nap, which happens to be the same time Sesame Street is on. Sneaky. Very sneaky.

Adoption certainly has its own unique challenges and issues you need to recognize (and in some cases very serious issues), but it’s really just parenting. More complicated parenting, yeah, but it’s still parenting. And parenting is pretty complicated and hard and stressful and challenging. Did I mention I had no patience on Saturday?

That’s one thing I like about the book—it’s honest. The book includes these moments of frustration. Sometimes you need an afternoon of TV and snacks and no kids to regain some sanity (at least one review expressed relief at sharing that sentiment). Any parent who doesn’t get frustrated by their kids and need a break once and while is either lying or a saint. It’s not the kids’ fault, it’s not your fault, it’s just how life is.

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Adoption

Why My Book Supports Water, Not Adoption

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We’re in the midst of pre-order week for my book Addition by Adoption: Kids Causes & 140 Characters (in case you somehow missed it). A portion of the proceeds from the book will go to build a well in Ethiopia with charity: water. It’s kind of a big, crazy goal—we need to raise $5,000 to build a well. Roughly $2 of each book sold with go to charity: water, so that’s a lot of books (though $4 of every pre-order copy will go to charity: water, so you know, pre-order now!).

Water is a huge deal. I’ve talked about the numbers before and they’re pretty staggering. But for me the personal connection is more important. People all over Ethiopia lack clean water—and it kills them. The jerry cans people use to gather water could be seen everywhere in Ethiopia, from the urban capital city to the rural countryside.

So my book about adoption supports water. A little weird, right?

Adoption is not a best case scenario. Ideally, adoption wouldn’t be necessary. There are many reasons that children need to be adopted, from poverty to abuse to social stigmas. Some of those can be prevented.

It’d be better if Ethiopia’s children didn’t become orphans and didn’t need to be adopted. I talk about this in the first chapter of the book. It’s part of why Ethiopia is near and dear to our hearts. We want the children of Ethiopia—Milo’s brothers and sisters—to be able to stay with their moms and dads. Providing clean water is one way to help make that happen. Another is development and education projects, like the ones our agency runs and supports in Ethiopia.

Adoption is one solution to a problem. And while I think it’s an incredible solution, it’s not the only one and it’s not necessarily the best one longterm. So my book focuses on another way to tackle that problem, addressing the underlying poverty and trying to improve the lives of all Ethiopians.

It’s not an easy or a quick solution, but hopefully it will make a difference.

And if you’d like to help beyond just buying a book, you can make an additional donation to charity: water to help us a build a well.

Adoption, Children, Family

Good Adoption Stories: All the Single Ladies

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There’s a lot of crap about adoption out there. Everyone has their horror stories.

You may have heard the story about the 7-year-old boy adopted from Russia who was put on a plane by himself and shipped back to Moscow with a note. His adoptive parents said they were lied to about his issues and his violent behavior wasn’t what they signed up for. So after six months and apparently no attempts to get help they sent the kid back to Russia.

I don’t want to judge, but these are the stupidest people ever.

Oops.

Sorry. This story makes me kind of angry. OK, kind of very angry. You don’t get to send your biological kid back. Why do adopted kids have a return policy? I realize that disruptions (that’s what they call it when an adoption doesn’t work out) happen, but in my mind there is no return policy. There is nothing my children can do that would make me cease to be their parent, cease loving them, cease fighting for them. I may need a ton of help, I may need a radical shift in my expectation of what life is going to be like, but I’m not sending a kid back. That goes for the adopted kids as well as the biological kids.

This is why I love Children’s Home Society, the agency we used to adopt Milo. They have an incredible post-placement program to help adoptive families deal with whatever issues come up. The adopted family that sent their kid back to Russia never asked their agency for help. I haven’t heard why yet, but that’s what you do in this situation. You get help.

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Adoption, Books

Pre-Order Addition by Adoption

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Addition by Adoption: Kids, Causes & 140 CharactersMy new book, Addition by Adoption: Kids, Causes & 140 Characters is now available for pre-order:

Buy it now!

The pre-order will last for one week, until April 20, and then it’s done. After that you’ll have to wait for the book to officially launch on May 11. Pre-order sales are going through me—I’m basically taking orders for a week, buying a whole pile of my books and then shipping them out to you.

Why pre-order? That’s a good question.

  • It’s cheaper. You can save about $1 by pre-ordering. Because shipping is included in the pre-order price it’s ultimately cheaper than the official version will be with shipping ($12.99 pre-order vs. $9.99 + $3.99 shipping from Amazon).
  • More money to charity. Twice as much money will go to charity: water. Roughly $2 of each purchased copy will go to charity: water when the book launches on May 11. But for the pre-order about $4 of each purchase will go to charity: water,
  • It’s autographed. Each pre-order copy will be signed by Lexi, my 4-year-old daughter and star of much of the book.
  • Get it early. Pre-order copies should arrive before the official launch on May 11.

Basically the pre-order is a chance to take advantage of my low author price and save you some money, give more money to charity and start to spread the word about the book.

So pre-order now! Thanks.

Adoption, Books

The Book Arrives

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The Book ArrivesMy new book, Addition by Adoption: Kids, Causes & 140 Characters, arrived in the mail today. It got here just in time for the one-week pre-order that starts tomorrow.

The book looks amazing. The front and back cover are slick and cool and much better than anything I can design. You can thank Brian White of TriLion Studios for that bit of awesome design.

The interior is sweet, too. You can see a chapter introduction, some straight tweets and meet the family. You can thank Ronald Cox for the killer interior layout design. Much better than my woeful attempts in Microsoft Word.

You can get your own snazzy copy, starting with tomorrow’s pre-order. It’s a limited, one-week pre-order, so if you don’t order it in the next week, you’ll have to wait for the official launch on May 11. Plus the pre-order is cheaper, more money goes to charity and Lexi will sign it.

I’m so geeking out about this. I hope you can stand it.

Finally, we uploaded some new banner graphics today. Check ’em out and add one to your site today:
125 x 125 Some Dork

Adoption, Books, Daily Grind

Crazy Week

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In the Rocking ChairThis has been a pretty crazy week.

  • On Monday I announced that we’re planning to adopt again. This is still new and we’re figuring it out as we go, but it’s pretty exciting.
  • On Tuesday I announced my new book, Addition by Adoption: Kids, Causes & 140 Characters.
  • The marketing machine went to work to spread the word far and wide about the book. It’s exhausting. And thrilling. And kind of scary. I did my first interview about the book on Wednesday night. On Thursday the first review came out (wow, what a rave!). I spent Friday night doing an e-mail interview. I need to do another one today. All in preparation for the pre-order, which starts on Tuesday (meaning the craziness continues next week). Whew.
  • I also opted to redesign my entire web site this week in order to better accommodate the info about the book. I’m still working out the kinks.
  • Milo is being baptized on Sunday in what’s shaping up to be a multicultural Sunday. In addition to baptizing an Ethiopian, the archbishop of Rangoon, Burma is preaching the sermon at the 8:30 service, during the education hour a chaplain for Karen refugees in Thailand will be sharing as well as a missionary from Argentina, and later that afternoon there will be a baptism and confirmation of a number of Karen parishioners.
  • We’re hosting a little shindig for Milo which means we need to clean the house. Bigtime. Plus Milo’s God parents are coming in to town from the east coast and staying with us. We should maybe clear off the bed in the guest room for them.

I didn’t plan any of this to happen at the same time. I just is. And it’s kind of cool that it’s working out that way.

Adoption, Family

Addicted to Family Photos

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I’m kind of addicted to family pictures. I’m approaching 20,000 pictures in my Flickr account. 7,000 of those feature Lexi and 2,000 feature Milo. Those ridiculous numbers are thanks to the digital photography era, but my addiction goes beyond merely snapping new digital pics.

In 2007 I brought my scanner to Thanksgiving with the intention of scanning some of my Grandma’s historic family photos. In addition I raided my parents’ collection of family photos and scanned more than 500 images. A couple weeks ago I finally finished cropping, sorting and uploading them (in order to speed up the scanning process I just slapped as many photos as would fit on the scanner and scanned them, opting to go back later to crop them and label them—who knew that process would take two and a half years?). I haven’t even started going through my Grandma’s family pictures.

Why do I like family photos so much? I don’t know. I do know that I love seeing the same picture with many years in between:

Like the first and last day of school photos, taken in the front hall of our house, separated by only 13 years of education, dorkiness and new linoleum (but the same wallpaper):
First Day of School: KindergartenHigh School Graduation 1997

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Music

Through Songs I Was First Undone

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Through Songs I Was First Undone by Justin McRoberts
Through Songs I Was First Undone by Justin McRoberts

You know what’s embarrassing? Reviewing a cover album when you’re not familiar with any of the original songs. That’s where I find myself with the new release from Justin McRoberts, Through Songs I Was First Undone. I believe that makes me a musical dork.

Justin picks a wide range of songs from The Rolling Stones to Tom Waits to Nine Inch Nails (unfamiliar with the ‘Stones? Yep, musical dork.). He makes them his own, like any good cover project needs to, but you can still feel some of the original artist coming through (I could easily pick out the Nine Inch Nails and George Michael songs).

The best songs on the album are perhaps the most intimate ones, “Gerogia Lee” (by Tom Waits) and “Head Like a Hole” (by Nine Inch Nails). Both songs are honest explorations of truth, the kind of thing Justin is good at. It also might help that I’ve read Justin’s blog posts about both songs (Georgia Lee: Part 1, Part 2; Head Like a Hole: Part 1, Part 2).

Perhaps my favorite part of the album was the bonus tracks you get for buying the album, which included a cover of U2’s “First Time.” Now there’s an original I’m familiar with! A lot of people rightly think it’s sacrilege to cover U2, but when it’s done well I appreciate a good U2 cover. They’re perhaps never as good as the original, but when you start with such good material you end up with something pretty good. That’s the case with Justin’s cover.

Books, Business & Marketing

Self-Publishing Ain’t Easy

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Yesterday I announced my new book, Addition by Adoption, and started the promotional juggernaut to get the word out about it. I’m self-publishing it, so I’m on my own. And I’ve learned you can’t just sit back and wait for your book to sell. I need all the help I can get.

So I have all these plans and ideas to spread the word. It all went into motion yesterday (well, actually Monday with my e-mail newsletter). Today I individually e-mailed more than 130 people trying to line up reviews, interviews, blog posts, Twitter/Facebook mentions—basically anything people are willing to do (if you didn’t get an e-mail and think you should, hit me up—I could always use more promo help). I’ll be contacting a lot more people in the days and weeks ahead (that’s fair warning to anyone who has ever known me). I also sent out nearly 20 digital review copies of the book today. Last week I stayed up until midnight trying to plan all this out.

It’s all a bit overwhelming. And kind of scary.

I’ve been planning this book for almost a year now. Now as I’m sending out copies and getting ready to make this happen we’ll see if it’s any good. We’ll find out if I’ve been wasting my time or if I actually have something interesting on my hands.

Because books aren’t easy. If I can sell a mere 100 copies I’ll be in the top 21% of books sold.

So here we go.

On the plus side, it’s amazing hearing back from people who are ready and willing to help. I’m so grateful for that. Some folks have just said ‘tell me what to do and I’ll do it.’ One person said not to send them a copy, they’d buy their own plus a few more to give away to their friends. Wow.

That kind of response makes it a little less scary.

Adoption, Books

Addition by Adoption: My New Book

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Addition by Adoption: Kids, Causes & 140 Characters by Kevin D. HendricksI’m happy to announce my new book, Addition by Adoption: Kids, Causes & 140 Characters. Allow me to quote myself from the backcover:

A work-at-home dad turns to Twitter to share updates about kids, causes and life. It’s a curated selection of bizarre quotes, funny stories and temper tantrums. Woven between potty-training woes and breakfast time songs is a family growing through adoption and learning how to change the world, one status update at a time.

You’ll find humor, parental commiseration and life-changing wonder mixed into a quick and compelling read.

Sounds awesome, right? I know. I’ve been kind of book happy this year, but this Twitter book has been in the works for a while. It’s full of the funny things Lexi and Milo do, the insanity of parenthood and the roller coaster of our adoption journey. The tweets are broken into chapters with their own introduction, making for a concise little 82-page book.

One of the best parts about the book is that a portion of the proceeds are going to go to charity: water. I’m hoping we can raise $5,000 and build a well in Ethiopia (not just raise the cost for a well in Ethiopia—actually fund a specific well in Ethiopia).

So when is it available? We’re going to do a limited pre-order starting next week—the pre-order will mean you can get the book cheaper and twice as much money goes to charity: water. Pre-order copies will also be signed by Lexi! The pre-order will last just one week though—April 13-20—so don’t forget to get in on that action. Then the book will officially launch on May 11.

We’ll have more details coming soon, but I wanted to get the initial information out there. My favorite part of this whole roll out is that it’s coinciding with the beginning of our next adoption. How cool is that? Not planned at all, but we’ll take it. [This roll out also coincides with this fancy new blog design, which is sort of planned and sort of not, as you can tell by stuff that isn’t quite right yet.]