Adoption Rescues Us from Our Own Faults

Tague and Lisa Harding of Minnesota adopted two boys from Uganda a year and a half ago. The family was featured in a CBN story on the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit VI event held in Minneapolis last month.

Lisa expressed a beautiful sentiment about the common misconception of ‘rescue’:

“People have said, ‘Oh, aren’t they lucky, you rescued them from whatever. And I think, Are you kidding? I’m the lucky one. I get to be their mom. And I get to be daily rescued from my selfishness, and my impatience, and things that are just as disease-ridden in my soul.”

That’s an incredible attitude. Some days I think I’m drowning in my impatience.

Apparently this CBN story is drawing more attention because of comments Pat Robertson made after the story. I don’t quite understand why anybody still listens to that guy.

Grandparents Parenting Again

This is another cool Ethiopian adoption story.

Matthew and Amanda Johnson from Minnesota have two children, both adopted from Ethiopia: Samrawit, 7, and Teshome, 5. Amanda traveled to Ethiopia with her parents last year to bring Samrawit home. Amanda’s parents have talked about “finishing well” for a few years now, and had been dreaming about what that could be. They had been empty-nesters for a few years and loved it.

But that all changed.

While in Ethiopia they met two brothers: Berhane, 13, and Tsegaye, 11. And they decided to adopt them. As Amanda writes:

“And so the last few days of the trip involved a lot of soul-searching on the part of my parents.  They knew they couldn’t go into this for the wrong reasons.  “Saving a child” was simply not good enough.  They knew it meant a total life style change, almost starting over.  They knew it would be hard.  These kids have a lot of grief and trauma.  The kind of stuff you cannot just love away.  …  Then, as it goes, they started to get excited, thinking about all the new things they would get to experience with the boys.  They started to see the boys in a different way, looking at each of them for their strengths, their potential.

“They started the paperwork on the plane home.  Last week they finished their home study.  This week they start their dossier.  With any luck the boys should be home before summer.”

Amanda’s dad is in Ethiopia right now to bring these boys home. Amanda’s parents actually had a chance to meet with the boys last year and ask them if they wanted to be adopted. I can’t imagine making a decision that quickly or being able to jump through the appropriate hoops while in the country. That’s some impressive commitment on the part of these parents, the social workers and agency.

I also can’t help but think how incredible this is for the family. Samrawit and Teshone will have two Ethiopian uncles. Berhane and Tsegaye will have a niece and nephew from their country—and Samrawit was at the same care center. Amazing.

It’s definitely not the kind of thing every grandparent could do.

But as Amanda wrote, “I cannot think of a better way to finish.”

$12.12 for Ethiopian Adoption

I’ve been coming across a lot of cool adoption stories lately, especially as I poke around at blogs from other Ethiopian adoptive parents. I’ve been tweeting a few of them, but I think it’s worth sharing them here. Gives a little more room to the story and isn’t quite as ephemeral as Twitter.

Adam and Amber Stutzman from Oregon are waiting to bring home a baby girl from Ethiopia. Right now they’re waiting for a referral and have entered the single digits on the unofficial waiting list. I remember those days—you get pretty jumpy waiting for that phone call.

They’re diligently raising money—more than they originally planned since Ethiopia now requires two trips—and perhaps their best donation just came from a second grader in the form of $12.12:

I went to our kid’s school and one of the little girls that is in the 2nd grade came up and she gave me a pencil box with money in it. She had made bookmarks and had been selling them to family and friends and it was ALL for our baby—to help bring her home!

I love it when kids blow us away with their generosity and heart. That’s pretty cool.

Immigration Protest: “It’s Not About Us”

I’ve confessed before that I’ve turned into a pretty sappy guy of late. Today while listening to a news story on immigration I felt those familiar heartstrings being pulled. The tears weren’t coming—not just yet anyway. But if the story went on it could have gotten ugly.

It was a story on The World about a group of immigrant students who held a sit-in protest in Senator John McCain’s office in Arizona. They spoke with one student, Yahaira Carrillo, who has lived in the United States since she was seven. Her parents were migrant farmer workers for a time and she was brought into the U.S. illegally by them, with no choice in the matter. She’s been in the United States her entire life and considers herself an American. However, she has no path to citizenship. She represents as many as 65,000 students who are in the U.S. illegally, brought here by their parents. Now they’re being punished for their parents’ mistakes.

These students’ only hope is a piece of proposed legislation, the Dream Act, that would give students like them a path to legal citizenship.

Carrillo sounded like your typical American college student. She didn’t have a hint of an accent and says she speaks and writes English much better than she does Spanish (though that shouldn’t matter). The only thing she’s ever known is America and if deported—something she could face after the protest—she has no idea where she would go. And that’s when I felt the heartstrings being pulled:

“We knew what we were facing by going into the Senator’s office, we knew that deportation in the long run is a possibility. But It’s not about us, it’s about something bigger. What matters is the Dream Act, what matters is all of these thousands of young people—like I said, it’s 65,000 a year who graduate who don’t have a path to follow their dreams.”

When Carrillo says she loves America, she’s not just full of it. She wanted to join the Marines and spent a year in an ROTC program before realizing that she’d never be able to join the Armed Forces as an illegal immigrant.

“I love this country,” she says, “I want nothing more than to contribute fully and as much as I can to it.”

Call my sappy, but that kind of initiative and sacrifice on the part of her fellow undocumented students is incredible. I’m no expert on the Dream Act after listening to a five minute radio story, but it seems to me that students like her who didn’t have a choice in breaking the law should have some option other than deportation.

Immigration is a pretty touchy topic these days. I certainly don’t know what the best solution is, but as I read a New York Times piece on the generational divide over immigration, I was reminded that only a hundred years ago my grandparents’ church still had services in German. We are a nation of immigrants. We should never forget that.

Keeping Book Sales in Perspective

So my book, Addition by Adoption, officially released on Amazon last week. And so I began my fixation with Amazon’s sales rank, something I imagine most authors go through (whether or not they admit it).

Before the May 11 release date the book’s Amazon sales rank was in the 500,000 range. Not too shabby, considering the millions of books that are published, right? Then on Tuesday the popularity surge began. It zoomed into the top 100,000, eventually settling as high as 55,721. It did end up at #35 in the adoption category.

Whoa. I know, right?

I assumed my book must be selling like hotcakes. Wow. All my hard work trying to spread the word about this thing (i.e., being annoying) must be paying off.

Not quite. Turns out the Amazon sales rank doesn’t mean as much as you might think. Depending on what you read and who you believe, cracking the top 100,000 might mean you’ve sold a single copy lately. Cracking the top 10,000 might mean you’ve sold a dozen copies. The top 1,000 might mean 50 copies.

It’s all relative. It’s all fluctuating. It’s all meaningless.

Just as quickly as my book surged, it also flopped. Today we’re sitting at 483,172. Total monthly sales to date? Seven. I don’t know what ‘selling like hotcakes’ actually means, but I’m pretty sure it’s more than seven.

Continue reading Keeping Book Sales in Perspective

Model T at the Post Office

1917 Model T FordI pulled up at the post office today and saw this. It’s a 1917 Model T Ford.

I snapped a bunch of pictures (which seemed eerilie like what my father would do), but I wasn’t the only one. While standing in line at the post office a steady stream of people were going out of their way to check it out, standing around gawking and taking pictures. My favorite was the college-age girl snapping a picture on her cell phone. Stereotypically not who you’d consider to be a car buff, though who knows.

The car was quite the attraction, and you can see why. The owner said he had just rebuilt the engine and drove it in a neighborhood parade and car show. Compared to a modern vehicle the thing is ridiculously simple. It’s hard to tell from the picture, but there aren’t a lot of controls (yes, that’s the battery sitting in the middle of the dashboard). It even has a starter crank.

I remember in middle school when I learned how an internal combustion engine worked I commented to my dad that it seemed like most of the systems in a car were just complications to deal with issues with the way an engine works (either making things easier, safer or more efficient)—radiator, starter, alternator, transmission, muffler, power steering, brakes, suspension, shocks, etc. You don’t really need all of that (though it sure helps). And this thing is proof. Never mind the creature comforts—seatbelts, airbags, window wipers (heck, windows), climate control, radio, brake lights, a paint job, etc. Though it does have a horn! I didn’t ask the owner if it was a classic ah-ooh-ga sound. I also love the real wood paneling. Even the wheel spokes were made of wood.

In the end it’s not much more than an engine. And that’s really just harnassing a controled explosion. Incredibly simple when you get down to it (if you can call controlling an explosion simple). Amazing how far we’ve taken the basic automobile.

Adoption Should Be Normal

It seems I mucked this post up a bit. In trying to confess something I consider to be wrong about myself, some people seem to be reading it as praise for that very feeling.

Doesn’t help that I unwittingly trampled on those who have difficulty getting pregnant. I apologized for that one. And I am sorry. That was dumb of me. I have close friends in those circumstances and I should have realized how idiotic my words could sound.

I wasn’t trying to say that adoption was better than biological parenthood. Having an adopted and a biological child myself, that’d be a pretty hard position to maintain without making some terrible implications about my own kids.

Here’s the thing: I think adoption gets the shaft. In wishing to correct that, I probably overreact the other way.

Continue reading Adoption Should Be Normal

I’m a Pregnancy Party Pooper

I wrote a guest blog post today over at the Buck Daddy blog. It’s a confessional, painfully honest post. Basically I admit to not being excited about people’s pregnancies because I think they should adopt.

I know, pretty horrible, right?

I know adoption isn’t for everybody. There are people who just aren’t ready for it and there are people who simply shouldn’t adopt. And I get that. But I can’t help hearing about a pregnancy and thinking that they could have adopted. I wish they’d consider it. And maybe they have.

I’m trying to get over it.

I used to be excited when I heard that friends or family were pregnant. A new baby! A new life coming into the world and all the joys and wonders that come with it. High five!

But then we adopted. …

[Now] I’m a pregnancy party pooper.

Read the whole post >>

Update: I’ve added a new post with some clarification and apology.

Father Revisted by Justin McRoberts

Father Revisted by Justin McRoberts
Father Revisited

Justin McRoberts is back. Never mind that he already put out an album this year (welcome to the new musician-controlled music industry). Now he’s revisiting his second album, Father, originally released a decade ago, and offering rearranged versions of four songs from that release. You can get them for free from NoiseTrade (you can also score $3 off his latest covers album).

Twelve years ago this month Justin lost his father to suicide and depression. These songs explore his father and the experience of losing him. But this time around there’s something deeper:

“Every May 6th since has a surreal quality to it; as if the day should have been retired for all its wear and tear. But this May has a different shade to it than the past 11, as my first child, a son, is due May 31.”

So this collection marks the end of an old era and the beginning of a new one. As a father myself, that’s pretty cool. I started listening to Justin McRoberts more than a decade ago (has it been that long?!), and it’s been cool to watch him stretch and grow as an artist and person.

Continue reading Father Revisted by Justin McRoberts

Twitter/Adoption Book Now Available

The Book ArrivesToday’s the day: My book is now available on Amazon.com.

Go buy a copy.

Thanks.

Why should you buy a copy?

Fair question. Let’s see…

  1. It’s funny. But don’t take my word for it—most of these people said it was funny (some actually called it “hilarious”).
  2. It’s inspirational. Again, not my words.
  3. It’s short. At only 82 pages and comprised of 140-character updates, this one isn’t going to take you long to finish.
  4. It makes Twitter useful. Lots of people like to make fun of Twitter and joke about how useless it is. This book is proof positive of the usefulness of Twitter.
  5. It’s for a good cause. A portion of the proceeds will go to build a well in Ethiopia through charity: water. We’ve already raised $276 for clean water, but we have a long way to go to reach our $5,000 goal.
  6. Then I can shut up about it.

So check out Addition by Adoption: Kids, Causes & 140 Characters. Buy one for your mom.

Let me add a big thank you. There are so many people who have made this book possible, from my hilarious kids to my lovely wife to my friends who helped create the book and became my marketing team. It’s humbling to see the responses pour in over e-mail, Twitter and Facebook. Thank you.

(And if you’d like to help spread the word, I’ll be your friend!)