I have to admit that in my teen years someone should have beat me up. I was a dork. I still am a dork, but back then I was a bigger dork. If I could back I’d beat myself up. I wore t-shirts that said “Worship the best or die like the rest.” A little confrontational. Just a bit. I don’t quite understand how I justified it, either.

Now I find that sort of Jesus-kitsch hysterical, in a sadly sadistic kind of way. While thinking about those t-shirts today, I stumbled across a lot more kitsch. And when you find, you’ve got to share the love:

The Gospel According to Big Red (the gum)
I so wish I was making this up: how to share you faith using a pack of Big Red chewing gum.

Spread the love of Jesus today!
The hugable, washable Jesus. I wish I was making this up, too.

Hippie Jesus is with you always
And I couldn’t possibly make this one up. My favorite is Jesus always being with the juggler.

Gadgets for God
If you like all this kitschy crap, check out this collection of religious garbage.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
I unearthed more about this wacky movie today, including the film company’s website (complete with trailer) and an intriguing review, “Harmless Revelry or Excessive Blasphemy?”