Category Archives: Introspection

Christmas Thoughts

Christmas Eve huh? Well, that’s what the calendar says, but I don’t believe it. Christmas sure has changed for me since being a little kid. I’m looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. It also doesn’t really feel like Christmas because my girl friend’s not here. She’s in Indiana, with family. Yeah, kinda sucks. But she’ll be back on Saturday (aka, don’t look for a Daily Thought on Saturday, I’ll be with you know who). :)

Christmas. This is when the Savior of the world was born, right? And we celebrate by decorating a pine tree and giving each other presents? Yeah, makes sense to me.

At a kid’s Christmas program a few weeks ago, the teacher was sharing some drawings about Christmas that the kids had done. I think the coolest one I saw was a picture of the baby Jesus next to a picture of the older Jesus, hanging on the cross. The kid made a pretty major connection–one most of us forget. But what really amazed me was the Jesus on the cross. He had a big huge smile. It may not be exactly accurate, but it really makes you think.

“Christmas” he thought, “doesn’t come from the store.”

“Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more.” (How the Grinch Stole Christmas! by Dr. Seuss)

I’m a Little Man

Sometimes I have to stop and ask myself who I think I am. Just who do I think I am? Everyday I paste my thoughts here for all to see–as if I have it all together. The truth is I don’t. I don’t have everything taken care of, I don’t have it all in place, I don’t know what’s going on. Half the time my searing sarcasm and cynicism is directed right back at myself–and if I don’t intend it that way, it probably should be.

I just feel like I’m making myself to be some great guru, dispensing his wisdom through the Internet. A wise sage, who never does wrong and has all the right answers. Quite honestly, I don’t know the answers, and this is my poor attempt at grasping for those answers.

“But then I stop and look and think about how big I really am / Oh let my pride fall down / I’m a little man.” -The Supertones, “Little Man”

Cranky Pants

Sigh. What a day. This has been one of those days when I put on my cranky pants and anything anyone did annoyed me (no Abby, I won’t give you credit—doh!). On days such as these I wonder how a God can love someone such as me. But yet He does. Don’t ask me how, don’t ask me why.

Lately I’ve been learning from Madeleine L’Engle (the writer of the dreaded CIFA book, Walking on Water. It’s amazing how much more interesting books are when you aren’t forced to read them), the acclaimed children’s writer, whose books include A Swiftly Tilting Planet and A Wrinkle in Time—books I never understood when I read them as a kid. Anyway, in Walking on Water she is making the point that we often lose our child like creativeness, and it is often the artist who regains it. Remember being a kid and not wanting to go to sleep? The day was too exciting. You woke up and shot out of bed, barely pausing to rub your sleep filled eyes. Not a second could be wasted. What happened? L’Engle says:

“When we lose waking up in the morning as though each day was going to be full of adventure, joys, and dangers, and wake up instead to the alarm clock, and the daily grind, and mutter about TGIF, we lose the newborn quality of belief which is so lovely in the child.” (page 56)

Why can’t I wake in the morning filled with the wonder and awe of a child? The alarm blares, and I groan. What happened to the sense of adventure each day brings? I also think of another writer that I’ve been learning from. Reese Roper, and the rest of Five Iron Frenzy:

“When I was young, the smallest trick of light, could catch my eye, then life, was new and every new day, I thought that I could fly. I believed in what I hoped for, and I hope in things unseen, I had wings and dreams could soar, I just don’t feel like flying anymore. When the stars threw down their spears, watered heaven with their tears, before words were spoken, before eternity.

Dear Father, I need you, your strength my heart to mend. I want to fly higher, every new day again.

Man verses himself. Man versus machine. Man versus the world. Mankind versus me. The struggles go on, the wisdom I lack, the burdens keep piling up on my back. So hard to breathe, to take the next step. The mountain is high, I wait in the depths. Yearning for grace, and hoping for peace. Dear God… increase. Healing hands of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again. Jesus Christ, light of the world burning bright within our hearts forever. Freedom means love without condition, a beginning or an end.

Here’s my heart, let it be forever Your’s, only You can make every new day seem so new.” (‘Every New Day’ – Copyright (c) 1997 5 Minute Walk Music)

Let that be my prayer Lord. Maybe tomorrow I can wake up and find my cheery pants. Somehow they seem to fit a little better.