Last night I had a dream like so many I’ve had in the past few years. I don’t know how long or how often I’ve been having these dreams, but I just realized today that they’re all the same.

Most every dream involves me not having my glasses. That basically means I’m blind. I can’t distinguish faces until they’re right in front of me, I can’t read anything, I can hardly function. Then I’m back in high school. It’s not always my high school with the same group of people, but it’s a high school-esque setting with classes, the bells, the crowds in the halls. I’m also incredibly tired in every dream and can’t seem to remember my class schedule. I spent the entire dream frantically trying to get to the right class at the right time. But I’m too tired to remember my schedule and I’m too blind to read my schedule or follow the people in my classes.

It’s anxiety overload. Thankfully I’m fully clothed in these dreams. I’ll leave it to you folks to Psyche 101 my dream, but it seems to me like I have a little uncontrollable stress in my life. Unemployed? Starting a new business? Stress? Nah. Couldn’t be.

I noticed yesterday that the Mall of America McDonalds serves Pepsi, not Coke. It seems like McDonalds always serves Coke, and the odd shift really threw me for a loop. My grease-soaked food wasn’t quite the same without a watered down Coke. That’s how deeply ingrained brands are.

I can only guess that Pepsi has some kind of strangle-hold on the Mall of America. There are giant Pepsi placements in the food court area. Though the Baja Tortilla Grill (aka Baja Sol) sells Coke products. Must be some weird case of brand funk for people like me who actually notice these things.

This fly spent nearly an hour buzzing at my office window this morning, desperately trying to escape. Oddly, if the fly did escape, I have my doubts about whether it would have survived the unseasonably cold 20 degree weather.

Though I suppose it doesn’t matter. Later in the afternoon the fly became the victim of afternoon boredom and irritation. It became target practice for my Nerf gun.

It’s snowing.

Today was a productive day. I should have done my day in the life of the unemployed today. It would have been so much more impressive. I finished the templates and basic coding for a web site I’m designing. I began the initial work on a freelance project, getting the ball rolling on several fronts. I also found out about a potential new freelance project. I fired off some more networking e-mails. I had our boiler inspected and we turned on the heat for the first time. I fixed the doorbell and vented my radiators, which involved a trip to the hardware store (a dreaded killer of productivity). I washed the dishes, picked up all the crap coating our downstairs, and took the dog outside numerous times. For a while this afternoon I was listening to NPR (starting with Howard Dean’s appearance on Talk of the Nation [wait — can you “appear” on radio?]), and I think somehow that makes your day feel more productive.

The exhausted mother and her three kids were coming down the sidewalk. I’ve seen them before. The toddler in front, sucking a pacifier, flailing his arms and running ahead. The preschooler followed, carrying a backpack and pretending to try to catch up to his little brother. The young mother comes last, probably younger than me, baggy eyes, sleepy infant clutched to her chest.

The toddler keeps running ahead towards the curb. The preschooler is five feet behind, knowing he should stop his brother, but also knowing that it shouldn’t be his responsibility–he is only a preschooler. The mother and infant are another five feet back, the strung out family trying to catch up.

A bus enters the intersection. The toddler continues towards the curb–oblivious. A stranger reaches out, “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” The bus stops. The child is stopped. The mother catches up. Everyone moves again.

Feel a bit neglected, eh? Don’t we all. I’ve had to come to grips with the fact that I’m not in college anymore and I can’t write my thoughts no matter the hour. I got to bed at 10:30 and the alarm goes off at 5:55. There’s just not enough time to sit down and write what I think.

What do I think? House shopping — oh my. George W. Bush on the cover of Newsweek, it’s all about God. Makes me nervous. Invoking God when considering war is dangerous turf. Reminds me of the crusades. And I’m not talking Billy Graham. Saw a snippet today that flippantly reminded us that Saddam didn’t hesitate to use chemical weapons on his own people. I love that fact. We throw it around like such solid evidence. Where did he get those chemical weapons? Us.

Read a good piece on Frederick Buechner last week from the March 2003 issue of CT. Old Buechner’s still kicking. Makes me wish I’ve read more of his books. Makes me wish I could find more of his books in the used section.

Lent is coming up. We considered giving up book buying. Couldn’t do it. We’re giving up eating out instead. I guess Lent is tomorrow. It’s not coming up — it’s here.

Taxes — oh my. Yeah, need to think about doing those.

Job — oh my. Yeah, I need one of those. Though I’m not worried. Those kind of things tend to fall in place when they need to. Of course my definition of need to isn’t always the definition that ends up happening, but we work with what we can.

Yeah, things are still spinning.

You know what I really don’t like? Mailing loan payments with love stamps.

The tax man cometh.

Slacker.