Matt Snyders spent an entire week at the Mall of America and lived to tell about it in a City Pages article. From open to close, Snyders was there. He even spent the night once.

It only fuels my obsession with local haunts like the Mall of America. The place is just kind of weird. Especially when you hear odd details, like the fact that the mall has no heat. The skylight over the amusement park (currently dubbed Nickelodeon Universe) and the body heat of shoppers and employees keeps the place warm. So warm that they run the air conditioning year round. Yes, the Mall of America runs the air conditioning in January when it’s below zero outside.

I told you it was weird.

Unfortunately, the article doesn’t show much behind-the-scenes action. Snyders’ overnight in the mall was a legit ‘sleep with the sharks’ at Underwater Adventure. I was hoping for a hide-in-the-bathroom, avoid-security-guards-all-night adventure (kind of like Career Opportunities, only not really). It’d at least be cool to see what’s in the basement.