We’re starting to pack up our house and this morning I went through some of my files and discovered a folder of quotes. Now I have incredible packrat tendencies (three pages of hand-written quotes from Pleasantville?!), but some of these were worth saving.

In college my roommates used to say the strangest things and I started writing them down. Keep in mind that this was before we were all married and before many of us were dating. Here are some of the best …

“I want some Ninja Chicks right now.” -Josh Lewis!, October 12, 1997

“OK, so prostitution’s out of the question.” -Josh Lewis!, November 13, 1997

“That’s one reason why I’m looking forward to retirement already.” -Josh Lewis!, November 19, 1997

“Yeah, it stays.” -Josh Lewis!, January 12, 1998 after merely sitting in the Goodwill scavanged easy chair we dubbed the ‘phat chair’. And this one’s only endearing to those who knew the chair.

“Hey, now you can be a trailer.” -Josh Lewis!, January 15, 1998, in response to a girl’s bellybutton ring.

Juliet makes the comment, “You kiss by the book,” in Romeo & Juleit, to which Andy Fast replied:

“Where can I get this book?” January 16, 1998

“I think I need to sit down and have a talk with my balls.” -Andy Fast, February 7, 1998 while losing in pool.

“I think CIFA and CWC deaden your senses.” -Andy Fast, September 23, 1998 about the fine arts/world history classes at Bethel.

“If senility was a race, I’d definitely win.” -Josh Lewis!, October 6, 1998

Said to Neal Redman: “You’re the Man.” Neal’s response:

“I know, I just gotta find some girl that’s the woman and we can hook up.” October 7, 1998

“Oh, I’m a big fan of dating.” -Neal Redman, October 22, 1998

“Neal, I’ve got more hair on my butt than you’ve got on your face.” -Tim Yenter, December 1, 1998

“Who needs an air freshener when you’ve got me?” -Tim Yenter, December 3, 1998

“He’s not my roommate, he’s just a guy who sleeps in my room.” -Andy Fast, December 6, 1998

“They’re [girls] useful for quite a few important activities.” -Andy Fast, January 24, 1999

And then there’s this one that written in someone else’s handwriting and included in my file:

“I am insane!” -Kevin Hendricks, January 10, 1998

And just for fun, one of my favorite quotes of all time. A bunch of us former college guys were trying to fall asleep in a shared hotel room the night before a friend’s wedding and talking about all manner of things, including dating, marriage and having children:

“Yeah, I’d like to have kids some day. I just need to find a suitable host.” -Nathan Sunquist, August 2005