The wind blows like an angry old man waken from his nap. The naked branches clash together so high up in the air, the flimsy upper reaches of the trees shaking violently. As I walk by I hear the trunk of the tree creak and groan as its branches pull and the trunk reluctantly gives.
I can’t help but ask what’s going to give.
This morning I forced myself out of bed and hobbled towards the window. Please be raining. Please be raining. Please be raining. The sidewalk below my window was dry. I let the curtain fall back and I resigned myself to the task. I was already up. It was too late now. Last week I started running. It’s more like a pokey jog, but it’s exercise. I’ve noticed myself gaining weight and I decided it was time I took care of my body and got in shape. There’s just something depressing about leading such a sedentary lifestyle that you can’t run through a field without over-exerting yourself. Now I get up a little more than half an hour early three times a week and run for twenty minutes. It’s the bare minimum, but it’s something. Today was my fifth time out. By now my pattern has been established and I’ve passed the initial soreness. Now I’m struggling with the distractions. Too little sleep and an earlier than usual alarm clock resulted in an urgent hope for rain. No such luck. A few minutes later I was jogging down the path.
Later today I found myself walking down the sidewalk wondering why I didn’t feel different. I exercised today. Aren’t I supposed to be on top of the world? Don’t I get some kind of credit? A guaranteed good day or something? No such luck.
What really perplexes me is the way I’ve applied myself to this running thing. I’ve accepted the idea of weekly exercise without much resistance. Now I’m carrying out the plan with even less struggle. It’s not like I’m some kind of health nut or trying to lose weight or anything. I just want to be less pathetic. But why don’t I read God’s Word with such enthusiasm and determination? It boggles my mind. In less than two weeks I decided I needed to start exercising, I bought running shoes (on sale), and actually started doing it. Yet I struggle to find a few minutes a day with God. Maybe I’m just rationalizing it all by muttering a few scattered prayers while I run. It just troubles me. That seems to be the way with life.