Today I found a shopper’s mecca: Woodfield Mall and surrounding area in Schaumberg, Illinois. The mall itself was just nuts. It had three levels, and just about any store you could think of. The whole area certainly rivaled Minnesota’s Mall of America. All Woodfield lacked was an amusement park in the middle. Just about any store you can imagine, or have ever heard of, and even some stores I’ve never heard of were down there. I’ve seen retail explosion around malls before, but this was ridiculous. Every piece of land within a few miles of the mall was crammed full of shopping centers and plazas. I think I saw at least three large bridal shops. America, where retail is king.

Something else I noticed that bothered me. I went to Woodfield to visit a yo-yo store (actually a cart in the middle of the mall). I stopped off at one toy store just to see what they had, and the kid working there was trying what I can only guess was his attempt at a sales pitch (no pun intended). While I was walking up to the yo-yo’s, he shouts, “Catch!” and throws some squishy ball at me. Enthralled in the yo-yo’s, I didn’t even hear him. The ball hit me and fell to the floor. “Okay, don’t catch.” He muttered as he picked up the ball and went on his way. No apology, no joke to try and break the ice and sell me a yo-yo, nothing. He just picked the ball up, and went to throw it at another customer. What kind of sales tactic is annoyance? I promptly left the store.

At the yo-yo cart, things weren’t much better. Two kids were working the cart, and both of them could yo-yo pretty well. But I think they were more interested in standing around and yo-yoing than actually selling yo-yo’s. While I looked at all the yo-yo’s and a mother and her three kids watched, these guys showed off, doing tricks, and answering questions about how long they’d been yo-yoing. When the parent asked about the yo-yo, it happened to be the same yo-yo the kid already had. “See, you just have to practice,” the mom said. And did the salesman try to teach the kid any tricks? Try to show him some new yo-yo? Try to sell him some string? Nope. He was too busy showing off his two handed skills. Some other kids came up who were really excited about the yo-yo’s, and would have been an easy sale. But did they offer to let the kid try a yo-yo? Did they offer to show him how to use it? Nope. When they saw that I knew how to yo-yo, they never even bothered asking me what I did with yo-yo’s. I asked about several yo-yo’s, and they answered as briefly as possible, not even trying to sell a yo-yo. Did they realize that yesterday was my birthday and Grandama & Grandpa’s check was in my pocket, just waiting to burn a hole? Apparently not. I guess I won’t burn the hole today.

So what’s my point? Kids make crappy salesmen? No, that’d be generalizing just a little too much. I was just shocked at how poorly customers were treated. I hope this isn’t becoming some kind of retail trend. While yo-yoing on the streets I treat people better than that. I bend down to show a kid how to yo-yo, and I’m not even trying to sell him anything. Oh well, maybe some day I’ll change the world and yo-yo sales will be done my way.