And today in the adventures of Kevin D. Hendricks, dining with famous people and the man who did too much. But I don’t feel like writing about that.
Over apple pie and water, in a crowded little restaurant after midnight, I spilled my heart out on the table. What secrets do you hide in the depths of your psyche? What keeps you awake at night, haunting you? Sometimes I feel so alone. No one knows. No one cares. And no one understands. Sometimes you need to let things spill out.
Masks. What are you hiding behind today? What’s behind your perky smile?
What do you see in me? What do you see in what I do? What do you see in what I say? Do you assume anything by my actions and my unexplained behavior? What do you see in my midnight walk? Do you see a search for explanation? A search for meaning? A chance to let things spill out? Or do you see something more? Do you see something I don’t yet see? Do you see at all? Why don’t you let things take their course, and in due time you will see?
There’s so much I want to say. So much I want you to understand. So many things I have on my heart that I wish I could explain. I wish I could say them. I wish I could take off every mask and every face, stand before you naked as the truth. I just don’t know how to say it. I don’t know if I can say it. I don’t know if I should say it. I don’t know if I want to say it. How can I make you understand the dreams of this wondering heart?
“I guess that’s all I can say,” I fumbled, sheepishly looking up to her wide eyes. She didn’t say anything. She just looked back with wonder, with amazement, with questions. Do I have the answers she’s looking for?