Tag Archives: transgendered

Can We Have a Little Compassion?

I shared this article on Facebook last week, but I think it’s important enough that I’m going to share it again:

There’s a lot of freaking out happening right now over gender issues. I think much of it comes down to misunderstanding. Transgender is a weird issue and a lot of us don’t understand it.

If we say that we love people, then we need to try to understand it and have some compassion. That article is a start.

Because you may not know it yet, but you probably know a transgender person. I didn’t know anyone personally—until today. We need to listen. We need to [try to] understand. We need some compassion.

And we’re going to ask dumb questions or say offensive things. And we’ll need grace.

I came across this passage in the book I’m reading right now, Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick. The main character, Pat, has some kind of mental health issues and he just read the very depressing The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Pat asks his therapist why kids in school should have to read it:

“Life is hard, Pat, and children have to be told how hard life is.”

“Why?”

“So they will be sympathetic to others. So they will understand that some people have it harder than they do and that a trip through this world can be a wildly different experience, depending on what chemicals are raging through one’s head.”

Some of us have life easier than others (another way to describe privilege). And so before we judge people based on that or apply our theology or political ideology to it, I think we need to have some compassion.

What other response should we have to hurting people?

Transgender: Love or Legislate?

There’s no epidemic of bathroom assaults in this country. You know what there is? A rash of suicide among trans people—41%.

Love > Fear.

I really don’t want to get into some online debate about this. I dread it. But when I see people spewing hate and pretending it’s reasonable, I can’t keep quiet.

Trans people are more likely to be harassed, bullied, abused and rejected. It’s no wonder they’re trying to kill themselves at staggering numbers.

That should break our hearts.

But instead of loving, we’re legislating.

Let’s be honest: the transgender experience is weird and complicated and confusing. Most of us don’t understand it. Imagine trying to live it.

Yet instead of compassion, too many react in fear. We refuse to consider their actual experience and assume we know better. When will we stop trying to inflict our morality on hurting people?

Look: I don’t care about the theology or morality or whatever surrounding the transgender issue. All that sermonizing doesn’t mean anything when kids put knives to their wrists.

You either care about that person or you don’t. You either love them like Jesus did—right or wrong, accident or choice, sin or something else—or what the hell are you doing?

We hate one another too easily. That’s not the gospel I believe. Sometimes I think we’ve forgotten the Good Samaritan.

Want to understand this issue better? Try talking to a trans person. The next best thing: Try reading their experience. It’s a start.

 

  • Rethinking Normal: A Memoir in Transition by Katie Rain Hill
  • Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out
  • Some Assembly Required: The Not-So-Secret Life of a Transgender Teen by Arin Andrews
  • Young adult fiction: Beautiful Music for Ugly Children by Kristin Cronn-Mills
  • Middle grade fiction: Gracefully Grayson by Ami Polonsky

 

Have some compassion, even if you don’t understand or disagree. These are people too.

Beautiful Music for Ugly Children

Beautiful Music for Ugly Children by Kirstin Cronn-MillsBeautiful Music for Ugly Children by Kirstin Cronn-Mills is an eye-opening look into the life of a trans-gendered person.

As a senior in high school, Liz decides she’s now Gabe. She’s never felt like a she, but getting everyone to accept her as a he is no easy task. Simple things like which bathroom to use and filling out W2 forms are stress-inducing for her—er,  him.

My own confusion over which personal pronouns to use are a good example of how we really get a feel for what Gabe’s struggle is like. The story is in his voice so the struggle is personal and real. It’s not some out there issue we can easily dismiss.

Tackling that topic alone makes it a book worth reading, but no one wants to read a story about a token hot button character. Instead Gabe has this fabulous interest in music and wants to be a DJ. His neighbor is this washed up, old school disc jockey who shows him the ropes. Gabe starts his own community radio show and begins to flourish as he finds himself and generates a following.

It all comes together as a very real and lovely story about humanity.

In light of a recent Southern Baptist Convention resolution about transgendered people, I think a book like this is more necessary than ever. The resolution basically dismisses the struggles of transgendered people, saying God made them one way and they shouldn’t try to change it. Jesus will help them.

I don’t pretend to understand all the theological perspectives here, but where’s the compassion? The resolution did condemn any bullying, abuse or violence against transgendered people, but that feels like lipstick on a pig.

We’re broken people living in a broken world. There are a lot of things that aren’t the way they’re supposed to be. I’m not sure denial is very compassionate.

I see more of Jesus in Gabe and the friends who love him than I do in this church resolution. This is why I read. I don’t know anyone like Gabe personally. But now I have a tiny glimpse of what that life might be like, and I think it makes me a tiny bit more understanding, sympathetic and compassionate.

That feels more like Jesus to me.