Here we go again…


March 31st, 2010

Milo’s been home a year. He’s just shy of 18 months old. Kevin mentioned that when Lexi was about 18 months we decided to adopt. You know where I’m going with this, don’t you?

Well, we aren’t exactly sure where we are going with this. We know we are adopting again. But there are lots of unknowns this time.

Go back to Ethiopia? Maybe. They are possibly implementing a two trip rule. Not at all complaining about going twice but it’s a lot more money to save up. Completely worth it though. Recently, our agency stopped accepting applications for children under two. I’m okay with that. Older child adoption is something we’ve considered. But to adopt out of birth order we’d have to go with another agency.

Do we want to switch agencies if we go back to Ethiopia? No. Not really. Our agency provides us with a Life Book and DVD. It doesn’t sound like much but when your child has the absolute bare minimum of his history, every little detail you can provide is important. If we chose another country, switching agencies may be an option.

Do we want to go to another country? It’s a possibility. Since we are open to older children, a child off the Waiting International Children (WIC) list is always a possibility and sometimes you are looking in country A and you see a child living in country B and realize that you and that child were meant to be together.

Is Country B closer than we thought? Minnesota has it’s own waiting child list. And it’s something we’ve considered. It would be a very different experience. Older kids. Older than 7 or 8. Good chance of a sibling group. Possibly special needs. Hmm…are we ready for teenagers? That could work.

What about special needs? We’d be open to that. In the adoption world “special needs” has many definitions. For some kids “special needs” means they are 9 and waiting due to age. For some it’s a repairable health issue like cleft lip or a heart defect. Some kids it’s ADHD. Some kids it’s HIV. Some it’s emotional issues. For some it’s the fact that they have siblings and want to be adopted together. For some it’s developmental delays.

What about the wait? Waiting is hard. But I don’t want something fast. Fast is not always a good things. Fast means important ethical details may be overlooked. I’m willing to wait. And if we go back to Ethiopia, the wait could be long. Very long. Current estimates are 1-2 years.

We have a lot to figure out. I think we are in step 2 of the process. Step 1 was thinking about whether or not we wanted more kids. Step 2 is figuring out where our next kid(s) are. That’s where we are at right now. We’re moving forward, slowly. Big decisions to make.

Stay tuned.


5 Responses to “Here we go again…”

  1. Keri Harrison on April 1, 2010 6:42 am

    Amazing – I’m so happy for you and your family! Adoption is a GREAT thing. :) If you need any pointers in the domestic foster care realm – let us know. We don’t know everything, but can fill you in on our experience. :)

  2. abby on April 2, 2010 8:43 pm

    Keri – I’m sure MI and MN have different regulations and such…but as far as the parenting part goes, I’m sure we’ll be getting in touch with you guys.

  3. Jess on April 4, 2010 8:50 am

    I’m excited for you all that you’ve made the decision to adopt again! We are almost in the exact same place with our decision making…or, in our case, I’m calling it Indecision 2010. I would love to adopt from Ethiopia again through CHSFS, but the birth order rule prohibits us from starting the process until Isaac is older. What to do? Good luck to you with your next steps!

  4. Amanda George on April 5, 2010 3:48 pm

    Congrats Abby and good luck on the journey !

  5. abby on April 5, 2010 6:48 pm

    Jess – did you talk to CHSFS – are they holding firm to the birth order rule if it’s for a child from the WIC list? That might be a possibility. When we traveled a family was adopting out of birth order.

    It’s also one of the reasons we’re going with the MN Waiting Child. They aren’t concerned with birth order.

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