Thanks for Asking

So what do you want to ask us about our adoption? Because now is a good time to do it. Before we are crazy busy with a new baby and so sleep deprived (hopefully not) to come up with coherent answers.

I sometimes get the feeling that people want to talk to us about it but aren’t sure what to ask or how to ask it.

Here’s the thing - just ask.

Don’t worry if you don’t have the terminology correct. We’ll help you out. We didn’t have it correct before we started this whole process either - and we’re still learning.

Don’t worry if you think it’s too personal. We’re pretty open with the whole process and if it’s something we’ve decided to keep private, we’ll say just that. And we won’t feel like you were prying.

It’s okay to talk about race, culture, and how it’s all going to tie into our life. In fact, we encourage it. We don’t expect our friends and family to become colorblind. Being Ethiopian is going to be a huge part of our child’s identity. We want him or her to be proud of that and acknowledge it. So it’s okay for you to acknowledge it as well.

And while we’re on the topic of race - go ahead, ask the hard questions. Now is the time to start thinking about how (if you are a part of this baby’s life) that you will deal with his or her race, whether it be your own stereotypes or dealing with racism that may occur while carrying on with daily life.

It’s okay to talk about money. We want people to know where the money goes. International adoption is a ridiculous amount of money and it’s important that people know that the money is all going to different places to make sure everything is done right and proper and legal.

And ask the easy questions as well - think of it like a pregnancy. Ask us if we have heard any news, ask if we’ve talked about names (okay, no, we haven’t really, so maybe you should suggest some), ask if we’ve done any decorating of the baby’s room. You know, the fun questions.

Basically, ask us what you need or want to ask us.