finally.

Adoption and Luck

A while ago, Kevin blogged about how adoption isn’t so lucky.

Since we’ve been home, I feeling the need to reiterate that point. Adoption is not lucky. Milo and Yeshumnesh are not lucky to have been adopted. It’s a very sticky point in adoption but it’s an important one for people to remember. Our children came to our family because there was a need. There is grief, loss, and sadness in their lives.

‎”They have lost their original father, mother, grandparents, siblings, extended family. They have lost their language, culture, and country of origin. They have lost any connection whatsoever to their beginnings, to their identity, to the …most basic elements of who they are. They have lost any knowledge of what happened and why.” (Source: Yoon’s Blur)

That’s not luck. As my daughter put it “you don’t know what it’s like to leave the country you know and move to a place where you know nothing.”

Here are two other articles one on the concept of being grateful and another on luck.

And a little bad news….

Did I mention I lost my engagement ring while in Alaska?
Yep.
I dropped it somewhere in the rental car and apparently the car eats rings like the dryer eats socks. It was nowhere to be found. We searched the car several times. Went back to the parking lot in case I kicked it out of the car.
No ring.
Kevin keeps saying “it’s just a ring” and he’s right. But still, it was my engagement ring.
With the rate I lose things, I should be impressed that I went almost 10 years without losing it. Yay me, I guess.

We’re a family of five.

Last night, I got back from 6 days in Alaska.

I left on Thursday to meet my daughter.

Kevin blogged all the details here.

Long story short, this adoption fell into our laps. We were preparing to adopt an older child but we thought it would be next summer before we welcomed a child home. But a friend was talking to a social worker who mentioned that a girl from Ethiopia needed a new home. The friend contacted me and told me to contact the social worker. I did.

A flurry of paperwork, phone calls, meetings with lawyers, social workers, home-studies, more paperwork and 7 weeks later the call came to book plane tickets.

Her name is Yeshumnesh – she’s smart, funny, talkative and pretty much all around a great kid.

I found time to sew something.

This summer has been insanely busy with appointments and paperwork and getting ready for our daughter to come home.
It also means my plans of relaxing and spending my afternoons sewing went out the window.
A couple days ago I was wearing my “I Sing in My Car” t-shirt. Lexi said she wanted one. Lucky for her, I have 3. So I cut up one shirt and refashioned it into a tank-top for her.
It took about 45 minutes and it’s not perfect – next time I’ll have a better handle on what to do.
I was going for a punk/rock n roll look so I left the edges raw.

Front:

Back:

And our matching shirts:

The directions for those of you who want to try it:
What you’ll need:
One adult size t-shirt
One tank top that fits your child (to use as a pattern)
Scissors
Thread
Sewing machine

1. Lay the adult t-shirt flat. Cut up the side seams so you have one piece of material connected by the neck hole.
2. Lay the tank top on top of the front panel. Cut around the tank top, leaving about 1/2 inch seam allowance.
3. Repeat for the back of the shirt – lay the tank top on the back and cut around.
4. Cut off the hems of the original shirt (bottom of the shirt and neck.)
5. The ribbing from the neck makes the binding for the top of the tank top – sew that on the front and back now.
6. The hem of the shirt makes the binding for the arm holes and the straps. sew that on now, leaving 5+ inches at the top to create the straps.
7. Sew the front and back of the shirt together.
8. Measure desired length for the straps and either a) sew them together or b) tie them.
9. Sew a new hem around the bottom of the shirt.
10. Done.

Our Newest Addition: It’s a Girl!

We haven’t talked about it much but we started down the paper trail of adoption this spring.

We figured we’d be bringing home our kid(s) next summer.

Plans changed. A lot. And it’s really exciting.

She’s an 11-year-old girl going into 6th grade and she’ll be joining our family this summer.

Due to the sensitive nature of this whole process, we won’t be sharing a lot of details.

But we can tell you that she’s almost as tall as me, her smile is amazing, she likes to ice skate and color.

It’s been a crazy week of checking paperwork, making “to do” lists and getting things ready.

And yes, it’s slowly sinking in that I am now the mom of a pre-teen. A middle-schooler.

This is going to be an adventure.

Summer Plans

This summer I’m determined to get out of the house 4 out of 5 days a week with the kids.
We are going to be busy.
None of this “I’m bored” stuff.
Some things will be consistent: On Tuesdays we’ll go to the library. Not sure if we’ll always go to the same library or if we’ll terrorize other libraries but on Tuesday we’ll be at a library.
We’ll do play dates once or twice a week (anybody want to come and play?)
We’ll go places – Como Zoo, MN Zoo, Children’s Museum, Wild Rumpus Book Store, Hyland Park Reserve, the beach, the park, Splash Pads
We’ve got scheduled activities – Swim Lessons, Great Adventure Club
We’ll also run errands.
Any other suggestions?

Oh, and the day I don’t take the kids out of the house? That’s my day off. I’m running away.

Last (few) Days of School – A recap

Wednesday. Jeremy and I took the student council rollerskating as a thank-you for all their hard work. Most the kids had never skated before. They didn’t know the difference between rollerskates and rollerblades. Much of the afternoon was spent watching them half-shuffle, half-crawl around the rink. The kids who could skate whipped around the rink pretty fast but after passing me two or three times shouted out “HOW DO WE STOP?”

Thursday. The all school picnic/field day. This involved games in the morning and hanging out in the afternoon. There was the dodge ball tournament. Grade levels played each other until we had three semi-finalists. Each of those teams played the teacher team. The teachers beat the first graders, beat the third graders and lost to the seventh grade. It’s very satisfying to throw a ball at a kid who has been driving you nuts all year.

Friday. We had an ice cream party because my class and a third grade class brought in the most money for our Water for Africa campaign. The school raised close to $400 for charity:water to help build a well for a school. My class was so exhausted from the field day on Thursday that I had to wake them up from rest time at 1:30 (normally they are wide awake at 12:50). Even with the promise of ice cream I could barely get them off their mats. I served up the ice cream and they were still a little dazed. They requested a movie instead of “partying”. We watched Matilda.

Tuesday. We cleaned, organized, played, took things off walls and packed things up.

Wednesday. We went to the Ordway to see a Kenyan dance troop. My class loved it. I was happy that Tuesday was our last day of recess so there was no opportunity to try the aerobatics they had just witnessed.

Thursday. Graduation day. Kindergarten in caps and gowns, looking adorable. There are two days of the year when all of them are cute: the first day of school and graduation. I am very proud of this class. They came together as a whole. They worked hard, supported each other and I’m really sad not to be their teacher anymore. They’re my favorites.

Friday. Last day of school. School was optional for the graduates. I only had six students. (well, seven if you count the one girl who insisted her mom bring her so she could say good-bye and then left an hour later.) But it was a fun six. We scrubbed tables, sorted toys, cleaned cubbies, and got things ready for the new kindergarten. The six of them worked really hard to get everything just right. I got a little choked up at bus time saying good-bye. The first five weren’t too bad, a hug and a high-five and they were off. My last student, well, he surprised me. He’s easily one of my biggest behavior issues, pushing everything as far as he can, just to see what would happen. He’s also one of my brightest, reading chapter books and doing math in his head. We had a very strong love-hate relationship.
Here’s how bus time went down:
Me: Hug or high-five?
Him: Hug.
Me: (giving him a hug) Hey, I’m proud of you. You worked hard this year. You drove me crazy but you worked hard and you’ll do great in first grade.
Him: Can I come to school on Monday? My dad said I could stay home today but I wanted to come. Home’s no fun. I like school. I could come help you clean on Monday.
Me: Sorry, it’s just teacher’s on Monday.
Him: Well, how many days until first grade? They’ll save a spot for me in first grade, right?
Me: (trying not to be too teary-eyed) Absolutely.
Him: Well…okay. I’ll see you.

And now it’s three days of filling out report cards, taking inventory, pulling staples from the walls, and re-cleaning everything the kindergarten helped me clean.

Love Is Not a Color

Recently there was a give-away at Love Is Not a Color for a great shirt. Stacie won a shirt but already had a shirt, so she’s giving her winnings away. If you want a chance to win just repost the video and leave a comment on her blog.

A Letter to Rahimeto’s Mom.

Today is Mother’s Day.

I thought about you a lot today.

Are you wondering how your little boy is doing?

Are you wondering if he looks or acts like you?

I know you think about him as often as I think about you.

He’s doing great. Actually, he’s doing better than great, he’s amazing.

He can walk and talk (a little bit). He likes balls and trucks and bubbles and throwing things.

He’s got a big sister that he is crazy about. They run and laugh and argue and play and sometimes drive Mom and Dad up a wall.

He likes to hide and then pop out and surprise people.

Your baby boy is so sweet and affectionate. He loves to sit in our laps and cuddle.

He still sucks his thumb.

Everyone comments on his eyes and his smile.

I talked to him about you today. I’m not sure how much he understood. But I promise I won’t let him forget about you.

I will make sure he knows how much you love him.

And how grateful I am to be his mother.

How can I thank you?

You are 7000 miles away, wondering how your baby boy is doing.

You are 7000 miles away but you are and will be forever connected to our family.

“Thank you” doesn’t even begin to express how I feel.

Amesegnalehu.

Links on Adoption and World AIDS Orphan Day, Plus Random Updates

Several blogs I follow have posted very interesting articles or links to topics surrounding parenting, adoption, AIDS and a few others. I’m not going to try and rewrite what they have already stated much better than I ever could. Instead, I’m just going to link like crazy and give credit where credit is due.

Yesterday was World AIDS Orphan Day. I have mixed feelings about this day. It’s an important day. The world needs to know how serious this issue is but it can’t be summed up in one day. The kids are around and need our help the rest of the year. It’s an overwhelming task to try and help them all. Start small. Help one.

In the year 2000 there were 12 million orphans in Africa and more than twenty-five percent of those lived in NIgeria and Ethiopia. Eleven percent of all children in Ethiopia were orphans.

By 2010, between twenty-five million and fifty million African children, from newborn to age fifteen, would be orphans. In a dozen countries, up to a quarter of the nation’s children. The numbers were completely ridiculous.

Twelve million, fourteen million, eighteen million-how could numbers so high be answers to anything other than “How many stars are in the universe?” or “How many light-years from the Milky Way is the Virgo Supercluster?”

Who was going to raise 12 million children? Who was teaching 12 million children how to swim? Who was going to sign 12 million permission slips for school field trips and pack 12 million school lunches? Who was going to by 12 million sneakers that light up when you jump? Backpacks? Toothbrushes? 12 million pairs of socks? Who will tell 12 million bedtimes stories? Who will quiz 12 million children on Thursday night for their Friday morning spelling test? 12 million trips to the dentist? 12 million birthday parties? Who will offer grief counseling to twelve, fifteen, eighteen, thirty-six million children?

(Except from There is No Me Without You by Melissa Faye Greene)
note: Not all of the orphans she is referring to are orphans because of AIDS but even if it’s only 12 children instead of 12 million, it’s still 12 too many.

An excellent post by Erin of Full House, Full Hands, Full Hearts on World AIDS Orphan Day

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If you are considering adoption, you have adopted, you know someone who adopted or any combination of the above, please read this post on love and adoption by Tonggu Momma.

And another post on adoption from Fugitivus (If you can’t handle swearing, skip this one.)

These aren’t the typical sunshine and roses articiles about adoption. They are very real. Adoption is not perfect and is never the ideal situation for a child. It is the last resort. And yes, it can go wrong. And it’s important that people know all sides of adoption. I can’t stress this enough:  All adoptions come with grief and loss that is very real.

If you have an afternoon, read Yoon’s Blur. She’s an adult adoptee, who, in my opinion, does an excellent job discussing the good, the bad and the ugly points of adoption.

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And a few random updates.

• You can still throw your name into the hat to win Kevin’s awesome book.  I’m giving away 2 copies and so far there are only 10 entries so if you are one of those people who never wins anything, you’ve got a really good shot of winning this time around.
• My school did a fundraiser for charity:water last month. Pretty proud of the elementary school, they brought in almost $400.
• There are less than 20 days left of school. That is such a nice feeling.
• Fun things I have planned for my class: An ice cream party (because they brought in over $60 for charity:water), making our own playdough, making rainbow crayons from the broken bits of crayon, making one of those paper chains for counting down the days in school, cleaning out the classroom (cleaning isn’t that much fun, but if you say it the right way, you can convince a kindergarten student anything is fun).
• Went to Feed My Starving Children tonight. My group packed up 34 boxes of food. The entire group packed 194 boxes (or something close to that). It works out to enough meals for 114 children to have one meal a day for a year. If you want a fun family activity, go check it out.

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I think we’ll call that good for the randomness tonight. I really don’t think I should be allowed to blog after about 9:30 at night. I’ll try and make a little more sense next time around.

By the way, Happy Mother’s Day. If you haven’t called your mom yet, go do that.

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