You’re Not Always Right; or Humility Rules!

I used to think obnoxious but true statements were a great way to tell people about my faith. I’d buy T-shirts plastered with them, bumper stickers proclaiming them, even music centered around them. I was very proud of my boldness.

But I didn’t realize how completely ineffective it was. I didn’t realize that instead of opening a door of conversation, I was kicking in the door and slapping the owner in the face–and expecting them to be grateful.

It’s kind of embarrassing when I think back on it. I’ve since realized (and am continually reminded) that is no way to change minds.


You Need a Connection
Bumper stickers don’t convince anyone. They’re intended to be inspirational–a rallying cry for the troops–not conversional (can I make up that word?). At best they’re confrontational–and how effective is confrontation from a total stranger?

If you really want to change someone’s mind, you need a relationship, a connection, a story. And if you really hope to change someone’s mind, you better be prepared to have your own mind changed. Perhaps not your core convictions changed, but your assumptions, your judgments, your impressions will be changed. It has to be a two-way street, otherwise you’re not listening.

You Need Respect
I came to this conclusion while debating abortion. Well, not debating abortion, but debating how to even talk about abortion:

“If you just want to rant and vent, then say whatever you want. But if you actually want to convince people of your position, if you want to change minds–then you have to be respectful. (And sometimes that means you have to take the first step and be respectful when you’re being disrespected.)”

I feel like this sentiment applies to both sides of the abortion debate and just about anything else where people vehemently disagree.

After I wrote those words I realized they apply to myself and how I share (and shared) my faith.

  • Just because you happen to think you’re right doesn’t mean you can be disrespectful.
  • Just because you happen to think you’re right doesn’t mean you can be obnoxious.
  • Especially because you happen to think you’re right you need to be especially careful that your own self-confidence doesn’t turn you into a jackass.

I’ve been a jackass. Not saying the person I was debating is a jackass or anyone in this type of situation is a jackass. I’m just saying that’s where you can end up if you’re more concerned with being right than you are with actually convincing someone. And what good is being right if you can’t share it?

Bold vs. Humble
If you want to change minds,
if you want to change hearts,
if you want to change lives and actions–
then you need to be humble more than you need to be bold.

Boldness has its place, but it needs to be overpowered by humility.

Mother Teresa was bold. But we remember her because of her humility.

Martin Luther King was bold. But it was humble non-violence that won out in the end.

The Crusades were simply bold. Not exactly anyone’s finest hour.

One thought on “You’re Not Always Right; or Humility Rules!”

  1. “Or” titles?! Fantastic.

    As the maker of a highly-controversial bumper sticker, I have to agree that bumper stickers are pretty much pointless and don’t push the debate forward or convince anyone.

    Put another way, I don’t know even one person whose life was turned around after reading a bumper sticker. But I know dozens of people whose lives were turned around by a friend of theirs for whom they had a lot of respect.

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