Whew. We just spent eight hours learning about adoption. I think it’s fair to say I have no idea what I’m talking about. There are so many potential issues and so many potential things to consider. Certainly nothing to dissuade us from adopting, but it is an awful lot to think about.
I think one of the most helpful things today was a quote from the perspective of someone who was adopted. They were talking about the loss of their culture and their race that they experienced by being adopted. They said they weren’t “grateful” to be adopted–it wasn’t a situation they were thrilled to have gone through. But that was a statement about being adopted and had no impact on their love or connection with their adopted parents. I just found it helpful to consider the child’s perspective. It’s not about ‘saving’ a child.
And that’s another helpful issue–the language. What does it do to your identity to hear that your real mother gave you up for adoption? There’s a sentiment there that she gave up on you and that your adoptive parents aren’t your real parents.
There’s a lot more to think about and process, but those are just a couple things that came to mind today.