Attack of the Clones

Mmm… Star Wars. Episode II comes out tomorrow (with the ridiculous title that I can’t bring myself to use: Attack of the Clones), and I’m amazed at the lack of fanfare. Actually it comes out at midnight tonight, but who’s counting (well, some of my friends, who are going to the midnight showing despite their 9-5 jobs.

Okay, so there’s been a lot of fanfare, but nearly as much as there was for Episode I. Of course we’d all agree that Episode I had way too much fanfare, and it didn’t come close to living up to it. There were so many parts of that movie that were just lame. It was incredibly exciting to watch simply because it was Star Wars, and so many of us grew up with Star Wars–it was like being a kid again. For a few hours we were able to ignore the lame characters, the failing plot, and the pathetic acting and just revel in the moment. Then the movie ended and we came back to reality and realized it wasn’t that great.

I’m expecting more of the same from Episode II. Of course now when I go back and watch the original Star Wars movies, I realize they weren’t so good either. The dialogue seems odd, the acting is stiff, and even the editing feels piece-meal and jerky (although most editing from 1980 probably feels that way). I think the whole magic of Star Wars is wrapped up in two things: 1) The fact that it deals with the stuff of legends. This is classic Western cowboy, Arthurian legend, bad-ass monks. What more could you ask for? 2) The joy of childhood.

I’ll save this for another rant, but the other thing that bothers me is when the movies are given away. I refuse to read anything about the movie because it gives too much away. I’m not some fanatical fan or anything, but it ruins the movie when you know the tiniest little thing is coming. A lead-in to a review on the front page of a newspaper today said what to expect for the last half hour of the movie, and basically told you how you’d feel at the end. They didn’t give away any plot, but already I know what to expect for the last half hour, I know that when certain things start happening, I’ll probably be able to guess how they end. You just ruined the movie for me. If I’m going to have to pay $7 to see it, the least you could do is not ruin it for me. Sheesh. I’ll have to go on about this later, it’s time for a walk.

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