A long laborious lament of a day and I wonder when it will end. I’ve been chasing my shadow all day long, trying to stay on top of it all, fearing the dreadful fall to the bottom, wondering just how I’m supposed to do anything. It’s only the second week, and I can’t help but wonder if it will continue indefinitely. I feel as though I’m in the crucible, and I’m not so sure anymore just how I’ll come out of the fire. It’s just so late and there’s so much to do and I just get by. But will it really be that bad if I don’t get by? I can’t help but wonder sometimes. Perhaps I need to relax and let it hang out. I don’t have to have it all just right. Sometimes you need to be a little sloppy.

Movies of death and dreariness fill my evening, and I wish I had time to process it all. One tries to deal with tragedy with a laugh. It was self-sacrifice, but in the end it triumphed. I’m not too sure where the other movie was going, but as the song grows louder in the background I just want to go higher and I lose my point.

What was I talking about? And I had such a good streak of insightful thoughts. It’s times like these that all I can do is place my hope in the fact that there’s something higher. A place where blind men see. A place with golden streets. Just take me higher and let this weary busyness fall away. Can you take me higher? (my apologies to Creed)